Not my highest of highs

Warning right now... I am in a fairly blah mood today.

Mother's day went fine yesterday... Adam and I made dinner for his mom and the fam on Sunday. I got a few Mother's day cards of my own which was pretty cool... one of which husband took a picture of me showing my tummy now and then made it into a silhouette with a huge tummy (of which I am truly looking forward to!) It was really sweet and really cute and best of all, he used his talent and didn't have to spend any money. Gotta love the ingenuity!

I was pretty much ok the whole day until the ride home when it hit me that my mom wasn't here. It's weird... I always know that she isn't here but more times than not, it will just hit me like a ton of bricks. I hate that I have to go through this without her... that I have to celebrate my first Mother's day without her around. I can't even imagine being in the delivery room and holding my newborn without her by my side. Anyway, I lost it on the way home and after crying for a good long time, I passed out. Woke up just in time to get home, unload the Jeep and go to sleep again. I really wanted to just get the day over with. This really used to be my favorite holiday... I am not sure if I still feel the same way.

Then I woke up this morning to find out my oldest (longest running) friend had her baby (on Mother's Day) and it made my heart sink even more because I am pretty sure she doesn't want me around. There is a huge long story behind this but suffice it to say, she is not pleased with some of my actions of which I won't apologize for. She hasn't made a move to keep the friendship going so I am left thinking that this is it... and to know that this great thing is going on and she doesn't want me a part of it... it just really sucks. I just hope that one day she sees why I did the things I did and wants to be my friend but until then, all this time and all the important life events that we miss... it makes me really sad.

So what a great way to begin the week! My apologies for the downer feel of this post but then again, I do have therapy in the title so it can't all be sunshine and roses ;~)

Please pray that my spirits lift a little today... tomorrow is Adam and I's 3rd anniversary and we are treating ourselves to a lovely dinner at the Metropolitan in Annapolis. I would like to snap out of the mood I am in so we can enjoy our time together.

Happenings as of late...

So as I mentioned... the bible study "non preggers" threw the bible study "preggers" a baby celebration this past Thursday. What a great time! They had games, food and presents ;~) It was a lot of fun and really nice to know that people are excited for you and genuinely happy!

Here is a picture of all of us together... the fun picture of course!


Ok... so that's Sarah M, Sylvia, Sarah P, Victoria, Danielle, Corrine, Nicole, Holly, Molly, Diane, me and Kristen... the last 4 are the preggers! Non preggers... thank you guys SO much for all that you did! We really appreciate it!

On Saturday Adam had his 10 year high school reunion... it was a low key affair, meeting up at a local bar but it was a really good time. It's fun to see Adam with all his old high school friends (well some of them... about half the class was there). Here is a picture of Josh, Adam, Farmer and Pat ;~)



While in Hagerstown Sandy and I went shopping for maternity clothes.

Back ground info... almost immediately after I told my friend Vicki that I was pregnant, she sent me a gift card to Motherhood Maternity. Such a sweet gesture and I was so excited to be able to get some cute pregnancy outfits. Many thanks Vicki!!!

Anyway, I was floored and couldn't wait to use it! However, with my new found respect for money, I wanted to be sure I was using it to the utmost potential... enter the Hagerstown Outlets who just happened to have a Motherhood Maternity. Also enter a mother in law who wanted to buy me my first maternity outfit... Again, such a sweet gesture... for not having any girls, she sure is getting this girly stuff down! Literally when Adam told me she wanted to do that for me, I teared up at the thought. So Sandy and I decide to hit up the outlets the next weekend I am in town.

Back to this past weekend... Sandy and I hit up Gap Outlet where Sandy buys me some fantastic maternity clothes (I got a hot tip that the maternity jeans at Gap were awesome!) and then we head to Motherhood where I totally stocked up on shorts, capris, tops and the cutest dress ever! I am so excited to start wearing all this stuff and I can't thank Sandy and Vicki enough!

God sure has blessed me with people in my life that can take the edge off of not having my mom around.

Last night

Last night was so awesome. Instead of our regular bible study, the non-preggers threw the preggers a 'baby celebration' complete with games and presents. It was such a pleasant surprise for us and we had a blast! However, I will talk more about it in a later post.

Last night we also said goodbye to Josh as he left for Iraq this morning. The boys prayed over him after the ladies left for the baby celebration and I got to hug him and say goodbye later on that night. For anyone out there, please pray for Josh and Heather during this time. It's their first deployment and everything is new.

Now for a little tribute to my little bro ;~)


Lamest self portrait ever!


Josh and his baby girl Layla


Josh, Heather and Layla on the stroke of midnight New Years Eve!


Josh and Layla (see a pattern? they are fond of that pup!)


Now these are some sexy boys who know how to rock some women's shades!


And in what could be the cutest picture ever... Josh and Heather watching princess Layla who has taken over the coffee table ;~)

Josh and Heather our prayers are with you and hopefully this will be the shortest 4 months in history! Love you guys!

13 Weeks

I just discovered that our baby has his own unique set of fingerprints now. I thought that was cool and worth sharing.

If more proof was needed...

that Ad.com is the best place to work... they put it in a video!

Click Here!

I get these things off Myspace...

1. What do you want for your Birthday? hmmm... I will be roughly 7 months along... I am going to go with 'baby stuff'... and a Nintendo Wii for Adam.

2. Who will be your next kiss? definitely the husband...

3. When is the last time you went to the mall? with the Townleys.... and I watched Rob 'ride' this.

4. Are you wearing socks right now? nope, flip flops (at work even!)

5. When was the last time you went out of the state? Wow, I am not sure... last summer... Saratoga Springs, NY?

6. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? ugh no.... 1. too expensive 2. too many rude people.... rather wait and watch them at home.

7. What was the last thing you had to drink? coffee... yeah, I know I am pregnant... your allowed at least 2 cups a day and I drink 1!!! I swear, look it up!

8. What are you wearing right now? Purple pants, white tank and grey pull over... the shirts of which are getting tight... time to hit up the maternity section.

9. What was your last purchase? Fuel for the Jeep... pricey stuff!

10.What was the Last food you ate? Very buttery popcorn ~ Soon to be tuna casserole!

11. Who would be the person you call if you were up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep? LOL, Adam... I have done it before ;~)

12. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Sadly, no... damn saving money!

13. Do you have a pet? Dear sweet Riley the Wonderbeagle

14. what was the last sporting event you saw? I am going with, who knows and who cares... I am not a sports fan... unless it involves Dads awesome seats at Camden Yards... yeah, got to keep that window open!

15. What's the most played song on your iTunes? Right now, Bullet by Mat Kearney... he is my new fave.I suggest checking him out ;~)

16. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? In Greece with hubby

17. What is the last thing you purchased online? probably a Christmas gift

18. One thing you hate about yourself? hate is an awful strong word...

19. What's your favorite soup? Right now, Cup O Noodles (shrimp flavored but I dump out all the dry bits so it's just noodles and broth... perfectly plain for a nauseous stomach!)

20. Do you miss anyone? Who doesn't?

21. Last play you saw? Ain't Misbehavin'

22. What are your plans for the day? Return something at Target, the Vitamin Shoppe and Office Depot... exciting married life ;~)

23. Last person you messaged? Phone - Danielle; IM - Nancy at work ;~)

24. Ever go to camp? Lots of summers at camp... so much fun!

25. Were you an honor roll student in school? Sometimes...

26. What do you know about the (your) future? That God has control of it.

27. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne? Nope

28. Where are your best friends located? lots of different places

29. What grade are you in? grade? what grade is 'Married and In the Family Way'

30. When is the last time you were in love? In love is really a misleading concept... I practice love (or try at least) on a daily, hourly, minutely basis (and I make up words)

31. Who was the last person who made you cry? My mom

32. Do you have any tattoos or piercings? 6 piercings... 5 in the ears and one in the belly (not for long!) and 2 tattoos... one to be removed when the money is right ;~)

33. How do you like your soda? room temp... I am weird like that.

34. Do you like hot sauce? Sometimes... not so much lately... I get the feeling Peabert won't like spicy things.

35. Next time you'll take a shower? Tomorrow morning

36. What's the last movie you saw at home? Half of Borat... couldn't watch the rest.

37. What is your mood? Tired

38. Are you someones best friend? I sure hope so!

39. Have you ever been to Virginia? Yep

40. What are you doing right now? Filling out this survey but overall, working hard ;~)

Ode to Zach Braff

Rough Week

This past week has been a really hard one.

A few people have asked me how I am doing not having my mom around for my pregnancy and I have been answering that I haven't really thought about it yet. Consciously I think that is true. I haven't let myself think too much about my mom missing this and what not having her here means to me... I just focus on Peabert and how happy this is making me. I have consciously pushed out thoughts about my mom. Unfortunately that damn subconscious sneaks in and wrecks what you have worked so hard to avoid. I have been so angry the past week... no matter who or what is going on, there is something that annoys me that once I pick it up, I can't for the life of me put it down. It's almost like I can see the insanity that I am creating in my world but I couldn't stop it.

I spoke with a friend on Saturday and through our conversation I figured that my anger is more about my mom and is just playing out in my relationships... apparently your subconscious will get your feelings out, no matter how much you try to avoid them. Just knowing that a lot of my anger is misdirected has helped me put some of it down.

This is precisely what happened in Nov 05 when I hit a height of angry that I never want to get to again. I was pretty unrecognizable actually. I finally saw that the anger I had for my moms death was spilling into my life and making me and everyone close to me miserable.

Where that leaves feelings of my mom I am not sure... theoretically, if I am angry that needs to come out somewhere... too bad kickboxing is out of the picture now... I wonder how much 'angry' you can expend through walking ;~) When I think on it more... I find myself subscribing to the theory that anger is only there if you let it be. So with that theory, I choose to not be angry (a little sad here and there but not angry).

Whole new take on lunch

Yet another reason to be back at Ad.com... free lunch (occasionally, not everyday ;~)!



Anyway, I pulled up to the tables to grab food and I started filling my plate with what looked good... and this is what I ended up with...

*

that's coleslaw, pickles, a black olive and deviled eggs... if that isn't a pregnant woman's plate, I don't know what is... yumm!

* photo courtesy of Nancy's cell phone!

Tis the season

I wanted to give a shout out to some friends of mine...

First - friends of mine, Bryan and Lori welcomed their second son, little Matthew Bryan into the world on Monday April 16th... he is 20 inches long and 7 lbs. 4 oz. I got to see the 3 of them last night and all were doing well. I even got to hold little Matthew which just re-confirmed my love of babies!

Second - she isn't actually a friend of mine... I haven't met her (yet) but I am friends with her sister who is elated to be an aunt... Kelly and Gordon welcomed Mikara Marie into the world on Tuesday April 17th, 2007. According to proud aunt Angie, Kelly and baby are fine! Mikara was 19 1/2 inches long, 7lbs 9oz and has lots of hair!

Congrats to both couples and their families!

Appointment Yesterday

So we heard the baby's heartbeat yesterday! It was so awesome to hear that! It's roughly the size of a lime and it has an audible heartbeat. So amazing!

We also found out that we are 4 days more pregnant than we thought... tomorrow I will be 12 weeks... which means our due date is actually Nov 2, 2007!

Anyway, not much is new in our world... work is great for both Adam and I. He is really thriving at his new job and I am loving being back at Ad.com ~ Good times!

First Day Back

So today was my first day back and it was pretty awesome. Imagine a first day where you have established friendships and you know the bulk of the job... it was pretty great! I really can't imagine God working this out any better.

Tomorrow is my second doctor's appointment and I think this is when we actually get to hear the heartbeat... can't wait! BTW, we are going to find out (at 20 weeks) what we are having... and truly... boy or girl... it doesn't matter... I just want a healthy little one!

Anyway, super tired tonight so this is all I can muster ~ goodnight!

Oh and hot off the presses - my best friend Christine is pregnant too... friends since we were 9 years old and we are pregnant for the first time at the same time! Congrats chickie! It's going to be a great ride and I love ya!

Minor life change, again....

So in perhaps the weirdest twist of all time… I am leaving my current job and going back to Ad.com! Shocker, I know!

I am going to be working in a different department… actually it is the department I started in before I went to Legal.

It all happened rather fast but Friday the 13th (cue scary music) is my last day here and Monday the 16th is my first day back at Ad.com.

I will spare you all the details and I will just hit the highlights. Nancy and I joked about working together again because 2 of her 3 person department left… ha ha, funny… apparently her manager (and soon to be mine) thought it was more perfect than funny and wanted to know if I was serious… I sent in a resume, went on an interview and got the job… I weighed the options and for many reasons, Ad.com came out the winner!

I really feel like this is what God intended all along… everything worked out so well (oddly, but well) and I feel very comfortable in this decision.

And then there were 3!!!

Adam and I are pregnant!



I am nine and a half weeks along and so far so good. I haven't had any morning sickness… maybe a little nausea but nothing to speak of… I am starting to crave certain foods, not odd ones, just certain ones. And things that I used to like (like Chipotle) now seem revolting. All in all, it's been pretty easy so far! Oh and Adam and I have nicknamed the baby Peabert until we know the sex of the baby! If you are asking, it's a hybrid between Peanut and Blobert (guess which name was mine and which one was Adams).

My friends have been teasing me that I will be one of 'those' girls that loves being pregnant, embraces the crappy stuff and enjoys watching her body get big… and they are totally right. That isn't to say that I won't have days where I wish it was over with… I am sure I will… however, I really am going to love this. I relish the idea of a big stomach (hopefully not big legs, big ankles, big arms, big face, ect… but whatever)… I can't wait to actually see a living human actually growing in me. The thought almost makes me burst with anticipation! If you are rolling your eyes right now, smack yourself for me please.

Anyway, I say all that to say, I am so excited… I can't believe this day is here… I have dreamed about it longer than I have dreamed about a husband (sorry honey!).

The one sadness is that my mom isn't here to watch this…she would have loved to see me as a mom… She was going to make an AWESOME grandmother... she would have loved to see a little Adam/Jessica running around ;~)

Stay tuned… I am sure I will talk a little more about the baby… who am I kidding, that is my #1 topic right now!

Oh and BTW – I am the 6th girl to be pregnant in our bible study… holy what's in the water batman! Kristen, April, Molly, Diane and Kiley, I am right behind you guys!

Happiness on the block...

So it's official... ROB IS BACK!!! He flew into NC on Friday night where Danielle met him... they stayed the night in Wilmington and then drove home on Saturday! The whole day was consumed with 'when are they going to get here'!!!! It was like a celebrity was visiting our block, we kept peeking out the windows to get a glimpse of him!

They got home safe and sound and we all hung out at the neighbors and watched a movie. It was so awesome to have him back in the mix of normal life. What's really odd is that Josh and Heather had never met him but through all the talking, DVD making and photos, they pretty much knew each other anyway.

So, here is where I ask for some prayers... things are up in the air about where Rob will be stationed and I don't want to go into too much detail but if anyone and everyone out there would pray that God intercedes and places him in MD, that would be awesome. God is definitely bigger than the Marine Corps.

Here are some pictures of Robs return...


Adam and I decorated the house just a little bit ;~)


Victoria came over and decorated the Jeep


The happy couple back together!!! I have a VERY similar picture from when he returned home from Africa ;~)

More pictures to come, for sure!

Also, please keep Josh and Heather in your prayers as Josh deploys to Iraq on May 5th... apparently this block has to have someone in Iraq at all times.

Everyone loves a survey!

I got this from a fellow blogger, thanks Kathi (albeit a while ago ;~)

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Morning does not look good on me.
2. How much cash do you have on you? People trying to save money do not carry cash on them!
3. What's a word that rhymes with DOOR? I am with Kathi, POOR ;~)
4. Favorite planet? Earth
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Danielle my Hero (That is what it actually reads... I didn't not type that in... 3 guesses as to who did)
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? White and Nerdy by Weird Al
7. What shirt are you wearing? Brown tank with a white long sleeve over it... yeah, I am pretty much cute ~
8. Do you label yourself? I guess... wife, friend, daughter, ect...
9. Name the brand of the shoes you're currently wearing: au natural
10. Bright or Dark Room? Bright room please... not a fan of the dark.
11. Why is there always a missing question? Daylight savings time?
12. What does your watch look like? A pink sprint phone
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? "hi hey check your pers email"
15. Where is your nearest 7-11? Somewhere on 3 but I try not to go there
16. What's a word that you say a lot? the
17. Who told you he/she loved you last? my husband... he's pretty much the only one that says it to me ;~)
18. Last furry thing you touched? Riley the Wonderbeagle
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Vitamins are my only drug now... oh and Tylenol.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? Rolls of film... HA. It's been a long time since that. I do have almost 10,000 pictures on my computer (since 2005, there are more before that!)
21. Favorite age you have been so far? 25... after I got married but before my mom died.
22. Your worst enemy? Myself. No one is more harsh or more critcial then me.
23. What is your current desktop picture? Riley the Wonderbeagle
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "I went the other way of hungry... now I am not hungry" riveting, I know.
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, what would it be? There isn't even a choice to be made... million bucks. Who do I see about that?
26. Do you like someone? I like a lot of people
27. The last song you listened to? Letting Go by Sozzi
28. What time of day were you born? Around the 7:00 pm hour
29. What's your favorite number? The number 7 but I don't know why
30. Where did you live in 1987? I had just moved to Maryland with my mom
31. Are you jealous of anyone? Yes but I am always working on controlling that
32. Is anyone jealous of you? Doubtful
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? Getting a raise in my boss' office. Seemed inconsequential once I saw 9/11
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Cry, stamp my feet and throw a temper tantrum... no, I put more money in and hope I get 2
35. Do you consider yourself kind? I can be
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? I have a tattoo and it is on my hip. It's a breast cancer ribbon (for my mom) with a premmie purple heart in the middle (for Emilee)
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Sign language
38. Would you move for the person you loved? If you are referring to my husband, then yes.
39. Are you touchy-feely? Not really, I can be at times but mostly, not so much
40. What's your life motto? I haven't really thought of a life motto... I try to be a good Christian... that really covers a lot
41. Name three things you have on you at all times: Cell phone, card holder and chapstick (medicated, my fave!)
42. What's your favorite town/city? There could be so many... San Diego is great, Annapolis is fantastic... pretty much everywhere has something great about it
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? Snickers bar out of the vending machine
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? I couldn't even begin to tell you
45. Can you change the oil on a car? Nope, thats why there are people you can pay to do that
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? That he got on a flight back to England
47. How far back do you know your ancestry? Not very far at all... I guess I could find out more but I have limited knowledge of it right now
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? Ad.com Christmas party... I couldn't wait to get home, put on sleepy clothes and curl up on the couch!
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? LOL, nah, I am fine
50. Have you ever been burned by love? Who hasn't?
51. Do you have a crush on any bloggers? This guy is pretty hot! So is this one!
52. Where would you like to live? I would like to live in San Diego... it's gorgeous!

Weekend Fun

Overall Adam and I had a great weekend… it almost started out very tragically but God was watching over us and didn't allow that to happen.

As I mentioned previously, for the past week we have been watching my dad and his girlfriend's beloved dog, Maverick (or Mav or Maverazzle). The entire week was pretty uneventful, Maverick tried to body slam Riley and eat his food and Riley consistently tried to avoid playing with Mav. Then Saturday morning Adam and I took the dogs out for the morning walk.

We were leisurely walking up our street… in our slip on shoes, pjs and winter coats… when all the sudden Adam threw out an explicative and when I look down, I realize why. Maverick is now trotting away from us with no leash attached. It seems his leash has come apart from him collar.

Adam takes off after him at full speed… it didn't take Maverick long to realize that he could now run as fast as he wanted. Adam followed Mav up through a clearing to the end of a row of houses… at this point I thought about going back to get the car and try to find them but thought better about it and kept going. I prayed as hard as I could that God would stop him somehow someway, just enough to let us catch him. I decided to hope that Mav would zig zag beyond the row of houses Adam just chased him to so he would run right by me (hopefully I might even catch him!)… think a triangle with a row of houses being the base… sure enough, about 10ft before I get to the corner of the triangle, Mav comes shooting out and starts heading straight in front of me. I follow behind some more but it was REALLY cold and I was having trouble breathing at this point.

All the sudden Mav turns and looks at me… I saw a glimmer of hope that I may be able to lure him back… sure he ignores me every other time I call him but maybe he will listen to me now. Not so much, as it turns out he was setting me in his sights so that he could keep an eye on me whilst he poo'd. Yes… you read correctly… Mav stopped due to the call of nature.

I pulled myself together and started jogging toward him, just hoping he wouldn't scare and start running again. Nope, apparently the call of nature for Mav is too strong and I was able to walk right up on him and grab his collar. After he was finished he gave one final tug to get away and then fell to his fate, he was captured.

Then he proceeded to throw up. I just about followed suit. The walk home was probably the longest in history… our chests were so ice cold that breathing was so very painful. When we got back to the house I was crying and near hyperventilation because of the pain… Adam almost called an ambulance for me. After a few minutes of breathing my chest started to unclench and I felt better. Man, what a way to wake up on a Saturday!

In other news… we went to H-town to celebrate Spencer's 9th anniversary on Saturday night… we went to the meeting and then to Denny's after to spend some time with Spencer and Jessica (his lovely bride ;~) It was really great to catch up with them and see how God is working in their lives. There are visible relationships around them that have healed… of which we all doubted if they would ever heal! It was pretty amazing and at the very least, a testament to what God can accomplish.

Sunday was a chill day… we went to church and heard a good message from Greg… socialized with friends and then came home and promptly rested for the remainder of the day. Later in the day the neighbors came over and it was like old times… lately we have all been so busy that just getting together and hanging out hadn't happened but last night we did and it was great! Oh and we watched Grey's from Thursday night… what the heck is up with George and Izzie???

As it turns out...

I made it through all 13 bins of clothing and shoes. It literally took all day because I would get up and walk away every so often but I made it through.

I actually made it through the entire process without crying... not one tear. A feat that amazed me... I actually started to feel guilty that this process wasn't making me more sad... not to worry. As it turns out, I was storing it all up for one massive cryfest.

On the last article of clothing I looked around at the well organized bins... all labeled with their contents and where they are headed... and I just started crying. It was one of those crys that you wonder when it will end... like you aren't actually in control anymore. For a solid half hour I just sat there looking at my moms clothing, sobbing.

All these pieces that she spent years collecting... some I am sure hadn't been washed since she last wore them... pieces of her hair woven into the fabric. It was a pretty crushing experience.

Everyone (sans my husband) has been ragging on me to go through the bins... pick out the ones you want... give the rest away... start the quilt project... just start doing it... and so on and so on. What they don't realize is the extreme pain that is part of the process. Yeah, people get that its "sad" and "it will be hard" but really, unless you have done this... for someone you truly love and cherished... you don't know the heartache... the actual physical, emotional and mental heartache that it takes to go through your lost persons clothing. As I was going through the clothes not crying, I really thought that all these people were right... I was just putting this off for some made up reason... I mean, I was doing fine... making decisions and enjoying seeing her stuff again. But as I suspected, the pain was there and it just decided to hit me all at once. I suspect I was ready since it is done (although I will remind you, I haven't actually given the clothes away yet so it isn't really over) but my fears were validated. It hurt.

I am thinking of a friend who was in NC this weekend going through her mother, father and younger brothers things because they were all killed in a head on collision on Christmas Day. My heart goes out to her and I am praying hard for her. If you feel it in your heart, please lift her up in prayer as well. I know she needs it.

Noticably Absent

Johnnie is right... I totally called him out on being absent and I have been AWOL lately. Sorry about that. Things have been a little busy around here... my new job has had me stressed out for the past 2 weeks. It was a rough start and I am still lost and confused but things are getting better. I am starting to understand the concept of my job and where I fit in which is a remarkable change from the first week.

Things around the homestead are up and down and everywhere in between... do you want the good news or the bad news first? Ok, bad news it is....

Adam's beloved Grammy died this past week. Grammy was Adam's moms mom... and she died on March 6, 2007... three years to the day that Adam's brother Ryan died. Yeah, its been a rough week. Adam's mom is doing well considering although I firmly believe that losing your mother at any age is a traumatic experience. We are heading to H-town tomorrow for the funeral services and reception type event. The family is really trying to celebrate Grammy's life because she had a good long one. And this I know... she leaves behind a wealth of love and family... what I consider to be a mark of a good life.

The good news is that Adam is working FT earning a salary with a lawyer that he has been working with for the past few months! He earns a base salary with the ability of earning more depending on cases he brings in, work that he does around the office, cases that are doing well, ect... It's a GREAT opportunity for us because we finally have a sense of security and the ability to make a concrete financial plan plus Adam gets to learn from someone that he really likes and respects and in turn he is liked and respected by his boss. It's really the best of both worlds!

Actually funny story about the boss... lets call him HL. Adam did work for an attorney named CJ... when the work was done, CJ passed Adam's name and number to a friend of his named HL. Adam was telling me about this in the car one day and mentioned his first name... I thought for a moment and asked if ______ was his last name... Adam looked at me dumbfounded... it was. As it turns out I lived next door to HL for a few years as a child. I actually babysat his children a few times. Such an incredibly small world! Anyway the rest of the story goes as follows... HL and Adam spoke but nothing really came of it... HL suffered some loss in his life and was very busy with business so the timing wasn't great. Fast forward one year of Adam going place to place, working for many different lawyers. HL calls Adam out of the blue and offers him some work... of which Adam has been doing for the past several months. A few months ago they start talking about this arrangement and then on Thursday HL brings it up and Adam started Monday.

It's been a wild ride but it feels good where we are.

Oh and remember all that lame talk about me going through my moms clothes... how I want to always do it but I never do. I did it today!!! I still have 3 bins left but I have gone through 10 bins of my mothers clothing and separated them into pieces for the quilt, pieces to give away, pieces to throw away and a not sure pile. And get this... my give away pile is large... much larger than I would have expected. Apparently I was ready to do this! More to come on that because this is only the first step... next I actually have to drop off the clothes at a donation center... there may be tears involved in that step ;~) But I am this far and that makes me happy ;~)

Oh and Maverick, my dad and his girlfriend's ever loving Shiba Inu is back to stay with us for the week! It promises to be a fun time!

1st Day on the Job

So today was my first day... All in all, it was a good day. It is a lot of information all at once which was a tad overwhelming. Not to mention the idea of learning an entirely new process... equally as overwhelming. However, I am looking forward to that day a few weeks (or months) where it clicks and I start to know my job and where I fit in.

One good thing is that there are already friendly faces in the office. The day of my interview, Danielle took me to lunch with a couple of the girls that work there... Angie and Amber. Seeing them in the halls today and then Angie stopping by to chat at my cube was so nice. It REALLY helps to not feel so alone.

Oh and get this... my new boss, Q... the one I was so excited about working for because I have heard nothing but great things about him... yeah, he has a new job with the parent company so his last day is in 2 weeks. How is that for job karma! ;~)

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes, I definitely needed it!

Last Day...

So today was my last day at Ad.com! It was interesting to walk away for the last time. I have been there for almost 4 years and this really was my first 'grown up' job. I did have good times there and they did afford me opportunity that most companies wouldn't have. Things may have deteriorated lately but in a way, I am glad they did. It made me get off my butt and see what I am actually worth and what I have the potential for ($$ wise and person wise).

I was sad to leave some of the people... Nancy has been my best friend there for 4 years... I started working with her and we never lost that friendship even when I moved on to the Legal department (which makes me believe we will be friends even after I leave the company ;~)... KMR made my job bearable (as much as she could) in the last year... I would have gone crazy without her! Suzy always being the ever stylish sweet considerate AM... I am going to miss her smile and Legal cheer (oh there was a cheer), Kelly... I still remember when you came for your interview and I talked to Casey about you! I am so glad he made the choice he did... he couldn't have picked a better person and I loved working with you! Beth... So sweet and always so pleasant to be around. I will miss your great attitude and fun commentary! I gotta say... John C. We only worked together for a short time but wow... you are one lovable and huggable guy. I see great things for you... I hope I get to watch them come true. There are so many more people that I will miss tremendously... I can't begin to mention them all... well I did begin to mention them... I just can't end to mention them.

But in the end... I have to leave these people that I spend everyday all day with and that's life. Overall I am happy and excited. I am really looking forward to starting something new.

The only other sadness that I have about leaving is that I had a message from my mom (yes, over 2 1/2 years old) that I never erased from my voicemail. I didn't listen to it today (or even recently for that matter) but it doesn't matter... I know what it said and sounded like. It was her calling to ask me to pick up somethying on the way home from work. She was asking and as she was asking she started crying. She was so tired and in so much pain that she just started crying and lamenting about being so sick. And I kept it all these years. It was a safety net I guess... that and obviously I hate throwing things away (13 bins of her clothing, don't forget) but it was her and her voice and I have to give that up in order to quit. That over everything affected me the most. But I can't stay at a job just because my moms voice is on a machine. I am moving on and I know she would want this for me. (No one needs to agree with me about this... I already know its true... thanks though)

I have a few days off of which I hope to accomplish something other than complete laziness but we'll see... A few of things on the agenda are: scrapbooking, spending my JoAnns (thanks Nancy, Beth and Heidi!) giftcard, spending my DSW giftcard, going through my mom's clothes (been on the list for a VERY long time), talking to a financial planner and all sorts of other stuff that is difficult to do when you are working FT. I will let everyone know how it goes! Now I am off to get a goodnight sleep so I can properly enjoy the next 5 days off ;~)

It's a dog's life!

Adam and I are babysitting my dad and Stacie's new dog, Maverick (aka Mozilla, Mo, MavvyMo, ect...) and here is how he and Riley are spending the day...





What a great life!

TidePoint Security Sucks

It's wintery weather outside... not great conditions for driving home so I got the ok to leave at 4 instead of 5.

Imagine my surprise when I walk outside and my new Jeep is not where I parked it... I will give you time... I am going to let that sink in...

Almost immediately my mind goes to it being towed... which I am thankful for because it didn't leave me much time to dwell on the possibility that my Jeep was stolen. I locate the nearest sign through my tears and call the number. Sure enough they have an 03 Jeep that was towed from TidePoint. Fantastic.

I call Adam in hysterics now. I have no idea how I am supposed to get to the impound lot from Ad.com in this snowy wonderland that is getting worse by the minute. I cry myself back to the office and find the closest facilities person.

I plead to know what happened. They don't know but in the meantime Adam calls the impound lot and finds out that the towing company was called by the crack Security squad here at TidePoint. Apparently they are now towing the cars that don't park in front of a cement block (marking the spot)... which is news to me because people have been parking in those 'spots' as long as I can remember.

Whatever... I ask to talk to aforementioned security guard and... well lets just say I don't think we will be BFF's anytime soon. I not so politely asked why wasn't I informed that they were going to tow my Jeep (a common practice at TidePoint) and why he would call it in today of all days... the roads are terrible, everyone has known this storm was coming... why would you purposefully strand someone on a day like today. No good answers came of that.

Luckily someone from our facilities department offered and insisted on giving me a ride to the impound lot (no matter how many times I write that, it still doesn't sink in) and I was able to free my Jeep.

$250 cash... parking for a day.

Big news...

Hold onto your hats everyone... I got a new job! Holy cow, can that be right? I am leaving Ad.com and actually moving on? Amazing.

I am terrified of rejection... yeah, yeah, I know no one likes rejection but I am down right petrified of it. So much so that it kept me stagnant for a very long time. It didn't matter that the bad days outweighed the good or that I spent more time in tears than not or that I spent 9 hours a day wishing that it were 5 o'clock. Calculate that... thats a lot of my life that I wished away... that's just sad.

Nope... it was more like a battered woman's mentality... I held out for the place that I once loved or just waited for the occasional good day... just praying that I would see a dog walk around the corner and greet me*. But as it has to happen, things never went back to the way they were. Gone is the company that I knew and loved and thus, just one of the reasons for my departure. Not that overall it isn't a great place... I would still recommend it to people looking for employment (maybe not my job ;~). They really do attempt to keep a fun young atmosphere and that is pretty awesome. Just too many things changed for me.
*The former owners used to bring their dogs into work almost everyday.

The turning point (although I had already been active in getting this job for a little while) was when my accomplishments were credited to someone else for an award handed out at the company meeting. Not that I wanted the award, please don't think that... I was already on my way out mentally so an award was not even on my radar. But to think that my job and my processes were being ascribed to someone else... it tore my heart out. I cried for hours after the meeting and I cried more when I came home. What more worthless of a feeling can you have to think that you haven't made a difference. It sucked. And it was enough for me. I knew I needed to leave.

So that leads me to my new job. I will be working for a contractor for the government where there is plenty of room for growth and advancement. I am really looking forward to this opportunity. I want to reinvent myself a little... meet new people... actually try and excel in the world instead of being comfortable in my own mediocrity.

It's been a long application process and I want to thank Danielle for all her urging and persistence. She is definitely my job guru. Believe me when I say, this would not have happened without you.

Ho Hummm

So life is plugging along. As always, there are bumps but I am just trying to keep them at bay.

I don't really have a lot to write about right now... just wanted to check in.

Oh and FYI... the last post is a line from The Office that I found hysterical. After I posted I had the thought that people could take it in the wrong way ;~) It's all about The Office... totally need to see Jim and Pam get together! I need to get out more.

Good Advice

Secret Secrets are no fun.
Secret Secrets hurt someone.

Wow... has it been this long?

I can't believe its been this long since I posted. Rest assured, I am still alive and kicking. Actually we are doing pretty well. There are all sorts of things bubbling under the surface as well as crazy exciting things that have happened already...

One big thing... we made the bold step and traded in the hunk of junk 98 Jeep for a.... wait for it... yep, an 03 Jeep. Sue us, we like the brand ;~) It really is the best bang for our buck and we got a great deal on a sweet one. As you all know, the 98 was basically on its way to the scrap heap anyway. I gotta tell ya, I feel a LOT more secure now ;~)



Also... Adam's business is going well. He is busier than ever and it seems like he gets more and more stuff everyday... soon sleeping will have to be an luxury for him. Seriously though... it is fun to watch someone love what they do. Even on his worst day, he is still doing the job that he set out to do. Pretty amazing... I love my husband ;~)
As for me... I am enjoying 2007... We had Jaime and Craig over for dinner recently... we played a rousing game of MadGab which if you have not played... crawl out from under the rock and get the game. Ask Danielle, she cried when Josh and Heather gave it to her for her birthday ;~)

We also had Rose and Nick over for dinner, very recently, like this past weekend. Impressive considering Rose had surgery the week prior. My fave part... meeting Nick... very cool, kick a$$ guy... I like him A LOT! Go on with your bad self Rose ;~)

I am making plans to meet up with Vicki... going to dinner at my dad's tomorrow... super bowl Sunday is approaching (I go for the friendship, not the football)... man life is busy!

More to come!

75 degrees in January

So we decided that we needed to get out and enjoy the beautiful weather so we played ultimate frisbee! Here are some pictures of that...











Ok... I swear we did play some ultimate frisbee but goofing off and taking pictures definitely became the focus!

Update on Baby G

Got a few more pictures of Baby G... she is one cute little peanut!


Love the hair! What a moptop!


Baby G with her older brother N


Baby G getting some love from Cousin Adam ~

Pictures from Christmas

Picture taken with Adam's new Canon Powershot SD 800. It has a feature that lets you choose just one color and the rest comes out black and white. Technology! What will they think of next!


I (we) got a new vacuum cleaner! I am so super stoked! Ours was seriously on its last leg!


Adam finally got his french press... this has been an on going request for at least a year if not more!

Prayers are requested...

A friend from our bible studys mom, dad and brother were in a car accident on Christmas Day. Her mom and brother didn't survive and her father is on life support.

Please pray for them.

Oh and BTW

We are home safe! We got back yesterday and the trip home was uneventful... did some errands during the day and then went to an outreach program at our church! What fun that was... got to bring Christmas and the message to some awesome kids and their parents ;~)

I went into work today and there were , drum roll please... 817 unread emails... that has to be a record! Today was not a happy day before the beginning of Christmas... pushy sales and fragile Jessica do not a good combo make. I limped and struggled through the day and now... it's time to put it out of my mind. Time to enjoy life. I will worry about the 40 some odd outstanding contracts that need to be taken care on Tuesday ;~)

Hope everyone's Christmas season is going well!

Just a bit of good news

From Milwaukee

Things are going well out here... the service for Adam's grandmother was today and it was very nice. Afterwards we went to a great Italian restaurant nearby and then onto Lee's house (one of Adam's cousins).

There are so many G's out here! Never thought I would see so many but Adam's dad has 6 brothers and sisters so there is a lot of family. It was very nice and I am glad I got to meet this side of the family, maybe next time it will be under better circumstances.

A bit of good news.... KMR (my cool supervisor) called me this morning to let me know that our parent company is putting money back into Ad.com so everyone is getting a bonus! Now I am not retiring or anything but it is a good amount and it will definitely carry us into Jan easily.

It always happens that way... just as I start to think that God has all but abandoned Adam and I, he comes through with a solution... and it is always one that my little pea brain couldn't possibly think of. You would think I would learn ;~) Anyway, I am very thankful and I will make an effort to remember this next time!

Here are some pictures from Wisconsin ~


Waiting for the rent a car in the Milwaukee airport


Adam and his dad in the hotel


Adam big pimpin the Yukon that his dad rented!

Hello All

Sorry I have been absent... Adam and I are flying to Wisconsin today for his grandmothers funeral. We found out Saturday that she passed away and his dad has made all the arrangements to have us go out there for the funeral. Needless to say, this has put a damper on the holiday season... not to mention a funeral for a friends mom that we attended last week.

With all that going on Adam and I have been under some financial struggle lately and everything is really getting to us. Please keep us in your prayers as we are quickly being overwhelmed.

Thanks all.

Celebration!

We are getting a new fridge! and we aren't even paying for it! Our landlord stopped by today to take a look at the fridge that does not cool or freeze anything and he agreed... a new fridge we must have!

Let me tell you, we have hated that fridge since the day we moved in!

He is ordering it and it should arrive on Saturday* morning!

Merry Christmas to us!

*This day has actually been moved to Monday morning but I am still equally as excited!

Tonight at Bible Study

Tonight at bible study Pat challenged us to think of one way we feel led to show God's glory in everyday life. (This stems from John 17:4 ;~)

I have 2...

1. Spend at least 10 minutes a day in the Word/Prayer... I am starting off small because I need the victory (as Sarah said... I just want my words to NOT be discouraging... I will deal with them being encouraging at a later time ;~) I feel the same way... baby steps.

2. Make a phone call to a friend that I have been putting off for some time. It has been on my heart to deal with this issue and face it head on and I think through facing this, God's glory will be reflected. It's hard to explain it out here (which obviously I don't want to do) so you will have to trust me on this one ;~)

What I didn't know was that we would share what we wrote down and be held accountable... don't get me wrong... I feel very comfortable sharing pretty much anything I would have written down... it's the accountable part! I have to follow through on this now! Yikes! Now I know what Adam went through when he asked the bible study to pray with him for the ability to quit smoking (he has been smoke free for over 2 months... YAY hubby!)

So since the bible study knows and is holding me accountable... I figured why not throw it out there to the blogosphere! So there you go. Those are my goals. Here goes nothing ;~)

Latest on the street

I can't think of anything to write... so I will put up a picture or 2...

Here are the 'girls'... everyone reading this knows Danielle and I and the newest addition is Heather!














Adam and I went to get a Christmas tree...



















Ha! We didn't actually buy this tree but wow... can you imagine?



















This is our tree (and Heather... can you see her?? She blends in with the tree!)















And Christmas isn't complete without a Christmas Beagle....

2006 Holiday Edition

Welcome to the 2006 Holiday Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends! I won't call anybody out but if you want to copy and paste this to your own blog, be my guest! Just let me know so I can read your answers! Merry Christmas!

1 . Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate or Spiced Cider!
2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? No Santa in our house… I do the wrapping and put them under the tree! Adam does a heck of a job complimenting me on my wrapping job though!
3. Colored lights or white on tree/house? Colored lights!
4. Do you hang mistletoe? You know… I don't think I do… I may have to do something about that.
5. When do you put your decorations up? Apparently yesterday. We got a tree and pulled out all the decorations… fun times!
6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Anything my dad makes ;~)
7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: There are a lot of favorite memories... too many to count or list here.
8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I was about 7 I think... no loss... I am not a huge fan of Santa (although I have quite a few musical Santas around my house, go figure!)
9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? One and usually it is a stocking stuffer
10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Lights and ornaments! It was decided last night that the garland would have overwhelmed the tree (it's on the smaller side ;~)
11. Snow! Love it or Dread it or What's that? :) I like it... more so I like watching how my husbands face lights up at the mere thought of snow.
12. Can you ice skate? Depends on your definition of 'skating' and how upright you have to be in order to qualify.
13. Do you remember your favorite gift? No but I remember giving my favorite gift. A perfect piece of Lladro that I gave to my mom... gave it to her on what turned out to be her last Christmas.
14. What is the most important thing about the holidays? Not working... well that and spending time with the fam! Looking forward to having Christmas day and evening at my house with dad and Stacie!!! Fun times!
15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Hot buttered apples (I think that is the name)
16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Getting a new ornament every year.
17. What tops your tree? An angel
18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? Giving... no question. I love the feeling of getting a great gift for someone and watching them open it!
19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? White Christmas by Bing Crosby only because I just watched White Christmas (the movie) the other day (shout out to Danielle!)
20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum? I am with Nancy... I like the fruit flavored!

First day back after 6 off

Man that was tiring! Finally dragged my butt into work and logged on to my computer... to find what?

285 unread emails.

When I left on Tuesday, I had one read email in my inbox... One... 1... One email. That I had already read. Daunting doesn't even begin to describe!

Anyway, it took me the better part of the morning just to sort through it all and figure out what had been taken care of and what was still outstanding. I was exhausted after a few hours! Jen (the temp that they hired on to work with me through the holiday season, YAY me!) was great. We had a little refresher course and I sent her off with her own contracts... she did some and I did some and we actually caught up! I am loving having another me around... hopefully this position might be made permanent!

Life at work is going as usual... hate it some days and like it others (well tolerate it). On the other hand... Adam's business is blowing up like gangbusters. He is working with a new lawyer who has really taken an interest in him... he keeps him busy and full of work and he even offered some office space... my husband with his own office... forming an LLC... how very adult is that! Anyway... I don't want to go into all the details but know that things are moving and the business seems to be the direction we should be going... God just seems to be laying out the brick path before Adam, day by day. It's fun to watch!

I hope all is well out there and that everyone is gearing up for Christmas!

Yeah yeah... I suck at this game.

I have been off for 5 days in a row so far and this is my second post... sad, I know. Honestly... I used to have so much more free time but with Danielle back and Josh and Heather next door (NOT complaining about either FYI) every night seems to be filled! Between games, movies and outdoor events... blogging takes a backseat!

Anyway here I am... What a great break this has been so far. Adam and I completely rearranged the storage in our apartment yesterday. We moved all the storage bins of my moms clothes to an accessible place and stored all the 'long term' stuff away. I realize that doesn't seem like a lot but trust me... it was back breaking, time consuming and thought provoking. Now a picture of my moms clothes... Count them (go ahead, I dare you!)


13 storage bins... ridiculous right! I love my mom but good gravy, that's a lot of clothes! In her defense, there are shoes and some of my clothes in a couple of them but for the most part, moms clothes. I can see that going through these will take a while. And talk about the worlds largest quilt! I think I will have more than enough to make quilts for my kids as well (and quite possibly enough for a small nation).

Thanksgiving day was a good time... We met up with Adam's dad for brunch in Annapolis which was better than the original plan... having dinner at Adam's stepmom's brothers house. Since Adam's dad and stepmom are separating... meeting for brunch out was a much better idea. I have to say, this is one 'separating' that I am happy about. Those of you that know the story... Adam's stepmom and I didn't exactly get along like BFF's. More like a 'tolerable' relationship. I honestly believe that with her gone, we may be able to spend more time with his dad. She was a good part of why we stayed away... and if you think I am over reacting or being mean... you should hear the whole story ;~)

Anyway, after brunch we went to a friends house but not before cuddling with the dogs (Scout and Riley) for a half hour on the couch (literally, all 4 of us on one couch... we were adorable). We had a good dinner and good conversation at our friends house... Sarah and Demetri can really do Thanksgiving dinner!

We left there and came home because we knew that Josh (aforementioned neighbor, who is officially at 'little brother' status with Danielle and I) was home alone... his wife had to work the late shift so we wanted to make sure he had someone to hang out with... as it turns out, Heather got off work about a half hour after we got home and joined us... and Danielle came home around the same time so we all sat around and played Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture Edition.

All the dogs were here as well which made for some fun mayhem... Let me go over the cast of characters, they are:

Layla - the 3 month old pug who goes and goes until she passes out and then 20 minutes later is ready to go again;

Scout (left) - the 4 year old mutt who doesn't have an off switch and who's life has meaning when there is a rawhide around, and Riley (right) - the almost 10 year old beagle who is turning into a crotchety old man who needs to police ANY fun that might be had.

This translates to Layla running after either Scout or Riley and biting them (did I mention she is fearless?) and Scout and Riley warning her to lay off or playing right back... If Scout and Layla are playing, that means Riley runs behind or between them and barks (LOUDLY) which then drives the humans (at least me) batty because Riley's barks are head inducing. All in all, complete mayhem and complete fun.

That has been our life for the past few days... the 5 of us get together for breakfast some days, dinner and games some nights and black Friday shopping on the day after Thanksgiving. Good times!

The most awesome dog in the world...

Today is a happy day for me...

I am off work for the next 6 days. You can't even imagine how happy this makes me!!!

Adam and I have some loose plans throughout the holiday weekend but for the most part... it's all about what we want to do! For the actual turkey day, my dad has gone to visit his family in NY, Adam's mom and stepdad are off on her brother's yacht somewhere between here and FL (rough life, I know!) and Thanksgiving at Adam's stepmother's was cancelled (well at least for this part of the family... which makes me pretty darn happy too!) So Adam and I are going to meet his dad for a Thanksgiving brunch somewhere and then head over to the Poulos' (friends from bible study) and have dinner with them.

As for the rest of the holiday weekend... what I want to do most of all... is go through my mom's clothes. I saved almost every last piece of her clothes and it is currently in plastic bins stashed around my house. For those that don't know... my mom had a LOT of clothes so there are a lot of plastic bins! Also, one of the things that we loved to do together is shop so a good portion of these clothes, I was with her when she bought... not to mention the memories I have of her in some of the outfits. I have been asked several times, why don't I wear them... she was 5'4" and a size 0 or 2 petite... ain't no way folks. No way my amazon self is fitting into those bad boys! I am also asked why I don't give the away... while in theory this sounds like a good idea, there is no way I could. I have too many memories of her clothes and I couldn't bear the thought of someone else having them. As I carted her clothes around from apartment to apartment I came up with the perfect plan for me. Make a patchwork quilt from her clothes. Then I can keep it with me always... my plan is to also make quilts for my children so they have a piece of their grandmother as well.

Anyway, I thought about this alot (for almost 2 years now) but never acted on it... I needed the time to be right... I mean we are talking about cutting up her clothes... that is going to take some willpower to do... not only that but just going through them in the first place. Oh it will be tough! But I think I am ready. It's been 2 years and I think that I have healed a lot... don't get me wrong. I would die on Friday if it meant that I got to spend Thursday with her but I know that I can't make those deals so I say that I am healed ;~) Back to the timing... I was waiting until the time was right...

Enter Suzi... I saw a long time friend of mine at church this past Sunday and somehow or another we ended up talking about my idea. Low and behold, she makes patchwork quilts... seriously, I had no idea! We talked for a little while longer and she really wants to help me with this project which just happens to be fantastic because I need lots of help with this project! We have a plan to meet in the beginning of Dec to chat and get the materials together so my plan is to get started now! And it just so happens that I have the next 6 days off to do it... and that folks is how I tie a story together ;~)

Peace out and sorry it's been so long... I will try not to let that happen again ;~)

2 years and 2 days

It's been 2 years and 2 days since my mom died. Sometimes it seems like yesterday and other times it feels like its been decades. I feel older and wiser now... like I am privy to a world that a lot aren't. There is nothing like losing immediate family to really jar your life and change you forever.

I miss her a lot... she really was my best friend.

I planned on spending the day being mopey and sullen... I wanted to leave the 12th open for me to be sad... but then it turned out that Danielle was moving back into the neighborhood, for good, on Nov 12th... then a couple things surfaced for that day and I realized that it could only be God saying that He didn't want me to be sad and full of self pity... that here on earth, there is a lot to be happy about and a lot to look forward to. So I embraced it.. and that is what I have learned in the past 2 years and 2 days... to make the clear decision to live without anger, sadness or regret. Don't get me wrong... I don't always get it right but life is too amazing not to try.

So I spent the day watching the 2 year olds in second service, chatting with friends after service, grocery shopping the heck out of Safeway with my awesome husband and helping Danielle and Adam put together a very cool computer desk. It was a good day, one that I can look back on and know that I did it right.

Now I leave you with an image of my awesome mother...

Updates!

This is what Adam found when he was getting ready to leave the apartment...

Seriously folks, you don't get much cuter than that! We have always known that Riley prefers to sleep with our clothes but here he takes it to the extreme.

So Adam and I went to see James Lovell last night and what a great time! He is so interesting (hovering around the moon will do that to you apparently) but more than that, he is funny. He has a great sense of timing and humor as well as relaying the drama of what he went through. Very very cool.

One point that I thought was especially poignant came when someone asked him what the moon looks like up close... he gave a brief description (all shades of gray and dusty) but then he said that what was more outstanding to him was the sight of earth from out there. How all you could see was the blue of the water and the white of the clouds, there was no NY City or Baltimore, no black or white... its just a piece of matter in our solar system rotating around the sun and we are all just people aboard. I thought that was a particularly awesome statement.

So before we went to see the speaker Dad, Stacie, Adam and I went to get some ice cream and play some scrabble at a coffee shop in Baltimore... here are some pictures!

Our Troops

Regardless of any feelings that I have toward John Kerry, good or bad, his statement was one of the most crass and insensitive comments ever made.

He does have the right to think what he wants, no matter how elitist it may be but he doesn't have the right to generalize an entire group of people that fight for our freedom day in a day out, at the sacrifice of life, love and family. Team morale is one of the hardest things to build and maintain and statements like his can crumble that morale in a split second. These men and women need to believe (and hopefully know) that their sacrifice is worth their effort and all that they have done hasn't been in vain. Say what you want about the war... I am not convinced we should still be there but I am convinced, without a doubt, that every soldier no matter the education level or salary level is entitled to be lifted up and revered and not to be told that they are stupid and that they somehow deserve this life because they didn't work hard enough. Plenty of men and women joined because at one time or another wanted to make a difference and this is their contribution. That shows more courage and gumption than any degree that can be earned.

I believe that these soldiers may enter the military out of high school and don't get the 'book knowledge' that Kerry apparently holds so dear but I also believe that these soldiers are smarter than any of us can ever imagine. They have seen more, done more and lived more than most people who went to college can ever imagine. Their experiences have taught them more than a classroom ever could.

To Mr. Kerry... here are your stupid and your poor... enjoy your freedom.

In the little things...

I love when I see God in the little everyday things...

Yesterday was a rough day at work... really strenuous and difficult... on top of that I am not feeling well and I am tired because I am not sleeping well... even with all that I ended up staying at work an hour after I should have (and yes, I am putting that on the timesheet!).

My loving husband decided to skip his regular meeting and stay home with me (such a nurturer) and this is a huge deal because he RARELY ever misses this meeting. So I get home and our neighbor is outside with his new little pug, handing out halloween candy. I stop by to say hi and pet the puppy (and I mean puppy, she's 10 weeks old). We chat for a couple seconds and I head in to the house. Once I was in the house, I felt the need to go back and out and chat some more... so Adam and I took Riley out (as well as the candy to hand out) and joined Josh and Layla. We ended up chatting with Josh for at least an hour or so...

Now for the God part... we were talking about people relocating to 'slower' states (east coast being too busy for some people) and I mentioned that a lot of couples in our bible study just relocated to North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia... they all seem to be leaving the craziness of Maryland. What Josh heard was that we are part of a bible study and that we go to church... as it turns out, he and his wife have been looking for a good church around here. And to top it off, they are interested in going to our young married bible study... so they are coming with us tomorrow night!

I love how God can take a crappy day and remind me that it isn't about me... it's really about Him and doing his will.