Warning right now... I am in a fairly blah mood today.
Mother's day went fine yesterday... Adam and I made dinner for his mom and the fam on Sunday. I got a few Mother's day cards of my own which was pretty cool... one of which husband took a picture of me showing my tummy now and then made it into a silhouette with a huge tummy (of which I am truly looking forward to!) It was really sweet and really cute and best of all, he used his talent and didn't have to spend any money. Gotta love the ingenuity!
I was pretty much ok the whole day until the ride home when it hit me that my mom wasn't here. It's weird... I always know that she isn't here but more times than not, it will just hit me like a ton of bricks. I hate that I have to go through this without her... that I have to celebrate my first Mother's day without her around. I can't even imagine being in the delivery room and holding my newborn without her by my side. Anyway, I lost it on the way home and after crying for a good long time, I passed out. Woke up just in time to get home, unload the Jeep and go to sleep again. I really wanted to just get the day over with. This really used to be my favorite holiday... I am not sure if I still feel the same way.
Then I woke up this morning to find out my oldest (longest running) friend had her baby (on Mother's Day) and it made my heart sink even more because I am pretty sure she doesn't want me around. There is a huge long story behind this but suffice it to say, she is not pleased with some of my actions of which I won't apologize for. She hasn't made a move to keep the friendship going so I am left thinking that this is it... and to know that this great thing is going on and she doesn't want me a part of it... it just really sucks. I just hope that one day she sees why I did the things I did and wants to be my friend but until then, all this time and all the important life events that we miss... it makes me really sad.
So what a great way to begin the week! My apologies for the downer feel of this post but then again, I do have therapy in the title so it can't all be sunshine and roses ;~)
Please pray that my spirits lift a little today... tomorrow is Adam and I's 3rd anniversary and we are treating ourselves to a lovely dinner at the Metropolitan in Annapolis. I would like to snap out of the mood I am in so we can enjoy our time together.