Hold onto your hats everyone... I got a new job! Holy cow, can that be right? I am leaving Ad.com and actually moving on? Amazing.
I am terrified of rejection... yeah, yeah, I know no one likes rejection but I am down right petrified of it. So much so that it kept me stagnant for a very long time. It didn't matter that the bad days outweighed the good or that I spent more time in tears than not or that I spent 9 hours a day wishing that it were 5 o'clock. Calculate that... thats a lot of my life that I wished away... that's just sad.
Nope... it was more like a battered woman's mentality... I held out for the place that I once loved or just waited for the occasional good day... just praying that I would see a dog walk around the corner and greet me*. But as it has to happen, things never went back to the way they were. Gone is the company that I knew and loved and thus, just one of the reasons for my departure. Not that overall it isn't a great place... I would still recommend it to people looking for employment (maybe not my job ;~). They really do attempt to keep a fun young atmosphere and that is pretty awesome. Just too many things changed for me.
*The former owners used to bring their dogs into work almost everyday.
The turning point (although I had already been active in getting this job for a little while) was when my accomplishments were credited to someone else for an award handed out at the company meeting. Not that I wanted the award, please don't think that... I was already on my way out mentally so an award was not even on my radar. But to think that my job and my processes were being ascribed to someone else... it tore my heart out. I cried for hours after the meeting and I cried more when I came home. What more worthless of a feeling can you have to think that you haven't made a difference. It sucked. And it was enough for me. I knew I needed to leave.
So that leads me to my new job. I will be working for a contractor for the government where there is plenty of room for growth and advancement. I am really looking forward to this opportunity. I want to reinvent myself a little... meet new people... actually try and excel in the world instead of being comfortable in my own mediocrity.
It's been a long application process and I want to thank Danielle for all her urging and persistence. She is definitely my job guru. Believe me when I say, this would not have happened without you.