This weekend was Adam's first Father's Day and I think we did what most dads do on Father's Day... yard work ;~) Actually we leisurely got up and had breakfast with Heather, did some yard work, played Wii at Heather's house, went to grill out at church and then finished the evening with service! Pretty lax day!

Here is Riley chillin' in daddy's seat while daddy gets bagels!

Wifey getting down and dirty (well down and a little dirty ;~)

Definitely the man of the house!

Saturday night we had an impromptu "Wite Trash Nite" at Rob and Danielle's house... it all started with fried chicken... add watermelon, beer, tator tots and twinkie's and you get theme night. The charge was to dress the part...

Rob and Danielle in their wife beaters with Twinkie's and beer!

Adam and I dress the part... I took my cues from Brittany Spears during her illustrious pregnancies...

Sam and Mary however, clearly take the cake on dressing the part...

Sam went so far as shaving the sides of his hair and giving himself a sharpie "La Dena"* tattoo... Mary went all out with the bathrobe, fuzzy slippers and fake cigarette hanging out of her mouth... hands down they win the prize (just bragging rights!). They definitely set the bar for the next theme night!

*La Dena is a often used phrase for Pasadena where Sam and Mary live and where I grew up... you usually say you are from 'the Dena' or from 'la Dena'... very hip and cool ;~)

And the verdict is...

It's a BOY!

Sorry to all you girl people out there but it's official, Adam and I are having a little boy!

Danielle baked little surprises into cupcakes (the ones in front of her, the other cupcakes were for Holly's birthday... HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOLLY!)

The idea was that we all eat the 'surprise' cupcakes all at once and whoever found something in their cupcake called out "Congratulations, you're having a ____." There were a few baked in surprises so we were pretty guaranteed to find out on the first round!


Mary was the first to find the surprise and tell us that we are having a little boy! You can't really see it but I am holding the little plastic blue bottles!


Here's to hoping a little girl is in the cards for us in the future but for this pregnancy... blue tones, baseball gloves and Tonka trucks will be all the rage! A special thanks goes out to Danielle for making this much more fun then laying on a table in the doctors office! You are the idea woman!

I am that person...

that proudly flips out the wallet full of pictures of my beautiful child... so consider yourself held hostage and meet Peabert! (BTW - I refer to Peabert as he or him... I still don't know so don't take that as the correct gender!)

Left foot! seriously, I love baby feet... how cute is this???

Peabert's profile!

Peaberts head and rib cage... I think he is slightly turned towards us.

Peabert's in the fetal position... just below his head is his arm and then the 2 white rectangles on the left side are his leg. This is probably my favorite picture!

here is our first glimpse at Peabert's face... I am thinking a modeling career as well as being a photographer, an Olympian and a lawyer working with daddy at their firm... yeah, I have high hopes!

it is known but not to us...

so it's official... danielle and laura opened the envelope just now and heather is on her way over to find out... so in mere minutes 3 (5 when rob and josh hear) people will know if we are having a boy or a girl... and we are still in the dark. i think it's funny and cool to be teasing ourselves a little here although i have to say, all day i didn't care that the sealed envelope was next to me and what it said but the minute that danielle opened the envelope and knew... yeah, dying to know. oh well, we haven't know for 20 weeks, what's another day or so... hopefully she will tell us soon!!!

stay tuned everyone...

oh and ps we got some awesome shots of peabert which we need to scan in and i will post shortly!

Weekend fun

Adam and I went to Hagerstown for the weekend, specifically to go to his cousins wedding but also to hang out with the in-laws (rather I was hanging with the in-laws, Adam was just hanging with his parents ;~)... here is a picture of us with Cori (bride) and Casey (groom)


Aunt Vicki, Sandy and I

Adam and I

Sandy and the adorable Gracie! Seriously one of the best behaved babies I have ever been witness to... happy go lucky all the time!

Joe (Adam's dad) and Gracie... seriously, what a cute picture!

Gracie and what looks like a self portrait...

Gracie's older brother and sister, Noah and Madyson cooling off in the pool.

The wedding was very nice... Casey and Cori couldn't have asked for a better day! All in all the weekend was good... except for Saturday night....

When I laid down to go to sleep I had pain in my lower abdomen which I thought was just gas pain. I tried to ignore it and get some sleep... not so much... it got worse and worse until I was literally in tears from the pain. Adam was looking all over the internet to try to figure out what was wrong with me as well as checking to see what medications his mom had in the house. While he was up, his mom woke up and Adam filled her in on what was going on... while he was out of the room I looked at his computer and read the following:

"Round ligament pain is generally a brief, sharp, stabbing pain or a longer-lasting, dull ache that you may feel on one or both sides of your lower abdomen or deep in your groin, usually starting in your second trimester. It happens when the ligaments that support your uterus in your pelvis stretch and thicken to accommodate and support its growing size.You may feel a short jabbing sensation if you suddenly change position, such as when you're getting out of bed or up from a chair or when you cough, roll over in bed, or get out of the bathtub. Or you may feel a dull ache after a particularly active day, if you've been walking a lot or doing some other physical activity. Call your caregiver if this discomfort continues even after you've rested."

If they added "you feel like your insides are being pressed with a hot iron and knife alternately and tears are streaming down your face" they would have described me to a T.

We called the doctor just to be safe but she (the 'on call' doc) seemed to dismiss it as round ligament pain as well... (would have liked a little more concern on her part but whatever). At this point it is 2 in the morning and I have had chamomile tea, 2 tylenol and a heating pad on my side for an hour and the pain is starting to lessen. Sandy goes back to bed and Adam tries to get some sleep... I eventually fall asleep around 2:30 - 3 but am awakened at 5:30 with a fresh round of searing pain... I cry more and once I can stomach the pain enough, I flip the heating pad back on and try to wait it out... I guess somewhere around 6:30 - 7 I feel back asleep. I woke up again around 9 but under normal circumstances, thank God!

Adam found out that once you have an episode like this, you can be prone to recurrences so I still feel apprehensive about moving sharply or suddenly which 'they' say can bring it on but, thank the Lord, I haven't had another episode yet! All of this I take as yet another indication for me to slow down!

medical care and weekend recap!

so i have come to realize that you as a patient have a lot more say in your care then you think.

adam and i went to the ortho today to check on my hand and 'little miss knows nothing' who brought us back had not bothered to read my chart or figure out why they brought me in today... so she stammers through some questions, leaves and comes back to tell us that she put us in line to get an x-ray.

now, i wasn't thrilled the first time i had to get an xray but i realized that it was necessary... they had to know that i broke it and how bad... this time, it seems as if 'lmkn' just put me in line because she couldn't think of anything better to do. so i questioned her and ended up telling her that i would rather wait until the doctor said it was necessary... i think limited exposure to radiation while i am pregnant is the best thing for peabert... she gives me a line about it just pushing me back but that i can certainly wait for the doc. he walks in a short time later and says that's fine... we can skip the xrays. never take what they say at face value!

also, i asked the doc if i could stay in the splint since i had become accustomed to it and he said since it wasn't an unstable break, that's fine! wahoo!!! score 2 for jessi!

we go back in 3 weeks when, hopefully then, i will be healed!

adam and i had a great memorial day weekend... saturday we got a lot (especially since we were handicapped) done... moved around stuff that needs to be gone through so it's accessible... found great christmas/camping stuff storage... generally cleaned and did laundry... adam even made it out to a meeting! good times!

sunday we spent in st. michael's eating crabs, shopping and hanging out on uncle jimmy's boat...


sandy (infamous mother in law) and i after my crab feast (yep, cast and all!!)


adam and i on the dingy heading out to uncle jimmy's boat


Shazam! gotta love uncle jimmy's boat!


i call this Peat and Repeat... definitely, like mother like son!


adam imitating captain morgan!

then monday my dad had a barbecue at his house and we joined in the festivities there.... which included crabs again! i love the summer time in maryland!

it was a wonderful and restful weekend!

13 abrasions and 1 broken right hand

this post will be light on the capitals as the shift key is difficult to maneuver right now.

so wed night adam and i were watching dear sweet puppy layla while her mom went to class and then worked the midnight shift. the plan was to walk riley and layla, drop layla off, go home, eat ice cream and watch grey's anatomy. the night almost went like that but midway through the the walk layla slipped out of her collar (sound familiar?). as calmly as i possibly could i alerted adam that she was free and according to adam i took about 4-5 steps before i started falling. also according to adam it was not a fun sight to watch because with every step and every attempt to right myself i fell further and harder... culminating when my face hit the sidewalk (only after every other body part also hit the sidewalk). adam started running toward me and i told him to get layla. i was still extremely concerned about getting her back. he goes after her and luckily she was more interested in playing with riley then running around the neighborhood so she was very close by. adam starts to corner her (it looked like they were playing 'ring around the rosie' around a bush ;~). i managed to pick myself up and act as a wall against layla giving adam the opportunity to pounce on her. we sat clutching her for a second, catching our breath, then got up, dropped layla off and went home.

we went to start cleaning me up and every few seconds we discovered another abrasion. big toe on my left foot, middle toe right foot, right ankle, both knees, right hip, right boob (don't ask me how!), right shoulder, right palm, right hand, left elbow, left hand and my face. yeah, i looked pretty! a few of the abrasions were pretty intense so adam and i tried to clean them as best we could. at this point my hand is hurting alot and we are worried about peabert so i wanted to do the only thing i really know how to do in an emergency... i wanted to call a mom... enter sandy, the awesome mother-in-law... she assures us that peabert is probably fine but that my hand sounds broken and she suggests phoning the ob on call and see what they have to say... we did and cool calm and collected dr. hankinson calls us back and tells adam that peabert is fine but go to the er and have my hand checked out... and away we go.

we get to the er around 11 and start our litany of sitting and waiting... they call us back and check me over... that was when this picture was taken (and yes, we took pics in the er ;~)

honestly adam and i spent the majority of the time laughing at the situation and how ridiculous the whole thing was so these are real smiles! here are a few more pictures....


this is after we went back to the waiting room and after 2-3 times of me asking what is taking so long, they bring us back to this room... i hope you can tell that the pout is in reference to the time... man were we tired and hungry!


here is my dear sweet (starving) husband after we are moved to yet another room! i felt like we opted for a tour of the hospital rather than treatment! by this time they have done a fetal heart tone and peabert not only gave us 150 beats per minute but he kicked the tech doing the listening... 'that's for making my momma wait!' we also found out that they were sure my hand (5th metacarpal) was broken and that they would be sending me to a orthopedic specialist. awesome!


here i am showing off my temporary splint and my bandaged arm with the time in the background.... that's right... a whopping 7 hours in the er for 20 minutes of baby listening, wound cleaning and hand wrapping!

at this point it was clear that neither of us were going to work today (not that we thought i would but we thought adam might... until the all night er-palooza)... on the way home we stop at mcdonalds as a treat (we do love the breakfast sandwiches) and finally head home. we call our bosses, eat and promptly pass out at 7:00 am.


this is sad pathetic wifey's bed for the night!

adams boss (who i will call 'the lph') calls around 10 to get some info from adam and i answered the phone (strategic as wild horses and a tornado, let alone a little cell phone can't wake my husband from that tired of sleep)... the lph sounded so concerned for me and we chatted for a few before i roused the hubby. quick words with the lph and adam is back out.... i on the other hand (pardon the pun) am awake and thinking of all the appointments and calls that need to made. i called my co-worker and told her the story, then i called the ortho... they fit me in that day (yay for not having to take another day off work!) but that meant i had to wake adam at 11... poor hubby! i have to say though, he woke up with NO complaining! he's been SO great through all of this!!


here is a picture from after the ortho appointment... i have another splint (WAY more manageable than the er one) because i have an abrasion on my palm that needs to heal first... so i go back in a week to see if i am ready for a cast! this picture will also go in my pregnancy book as my 17 week picture!

through this whole thing adam and i really never lost our sense of humor and i actually learned a lesson... rely on my husband more and that he is the most awesome husband i know - adam has been so sweet and nurturing through all of this.... he's been washing my hair, helping me get changed, putting on my jewelry and doing all the things i can't... just generally being an awesome husband without ever complaining (seriously, not once!) and by having to rely on him, i am learning to really trust him, more than i thought i could!

all in all it's been a fairly fun experience with a few moments of pain and panic... and if i had it to do over again, i would run just as hard to get layla.... i would just make sure i was on better footing!

Boy vs. Girl

So Adam and I are fast approaching the date when we find out if Peabert is a Peabert or a Peabertha...

Our plan is to have the doctor write down what Peabert is and then we want to come up with a fun way to find out... Danielle is thinking of ideas but I thought I would throw it out to the blogosphere as well... thoughts, ideas, comments?

Oh and I wanted to ask you all, what you think Peabert is... boy or girl??? Let me know what you think!

About me...

I stole this from Danielle's website and feel free to steal it from mine.

I'M AMAZED… that our baby had a heartbeat when it was the size of my pinky nail.

I DOUBT... myself a lot.

I CAN’T SEE… why I get so worried all the time. God is always in control and I always forget that.

I WANT TO BEAT WITH A SOCK FULL OF QUARTERS… nothing... I want to cash in the sock full of quarters and pay off something.

I'M ADDICTED… to Coffee Heath Bar Crunch Ice Cream right now... it will change in a week or so.

I FEEL BAD… that my mom won't meet Peabert.

I WATCH… Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. It restores my faith in humanity. I am willing to forgive Ty (once).

I LISTEN… to my ipod at work again!

IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS… I would tithe, pay off taxes, credit cards, cars and student loans... in that order.

I WANT... to be a stay at home mom.

I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT…Jesus... he provides all that I need and want.

I THINK CHILDREN… are the greatest gift to the world.

I CAN’T WAIT… to meet Peabert.

I'M PROUD… of Adam.

I HAVE A DREAM… almost every night now that I am pregnant!

I ALWAYS WEAR… mine and my mom’s wedding bands.

I FEAR… too much. I need to trust God more and fear the world less.

I WISH… everytime I see the clock is 11:11 or 12:34. Can't tell you what I wish for... it won't come true.

I ONCE ACCIDENTALLY… tripped... I don't know how to answer this ;~)

I NEVER… say never (right Adam ;~)

I’D KILL TO… nothing would make me kill but I would like to visit Greece one day.

I MISS… my mom. A lot.

I'M LOATHE TO ADMIT… that I once owned (and probably still do) an N'SYNC album... hard earned $$ wasted!

I’LL NEVER FORGIVE… whew… hard one. My aunt and cousin are hard to forgive but if they ever came at me with a heart of apology, I would forgive them. The real trick is forgiving them even if they don’t ask!

3 years and counting

Happy Anniversary Honey! Here's to many more years together ~



I LOVE YOU BADAM!

Not my highest of highs

Warning right now... I am in a fairly blah mood today.

Mother's day went fine yesterday... Adam and I made dinner for his mom and the fam on Sunday. I got a few Mother's day cards of my own which was pretty cool... one of which husband took a picture of me showing my tummy now and then made it into a silhouette with a huge tummy (of which I am truly looking forward to!) It was really sweet and really cute and best of all, he used his talent and didn't have to spend any money. Gotta love the ingenuity!

I was pretty much ok the whole day until the ride home when it hit me that my mom wasn't here. It's weird... I always know that she isn't here but more times than not, it will just hit me like a ton of bricks. I hate that I have to go through this without her... that I have to celebrate my first Mother's day without her around. I can't even imagine being in the delivery room and holding my newborn without her by my side. Anyway, I lost it on the way home and after crying for a good long time, I passed out. Woke up just in time to get home, unload the Jeep and go to sleep again. I really wanted to just get the day over with. This really used to be my favorite holiday... I am not sure if I still feel the same way.

Then I woke up this morning to find out my oldest (longest running) friend had her baby (on Mother's Day) and it made my heart sink even more because I am pretty sure she doesn't want me around. There is a huge long story behind this but suffice it to say, she is not pleased with some of my actions of which I won't apologize for. She hasn't made a move to keep the friendship going so I am left thinking that this is it... and to know that this great thing is going on and she doesn't want me a part of it... it just really sucks. I just hope that one day she sees why I did the things I did and wants to be my friend but until then, all this time and all the important life events that we miss... it makes me really sad.

So what a great way to begin the week! My apologies for the downer feel of this post but then again, I do have therapy in the title so it can't all be sunshine and roses ;~)

Please pray that my spirits lift a little today... tomorrow is Adam and I's 3rd anniversary and we are treating ourselves to a lovely dinner at the Metropolitan in Annapolis. I would like to snap out of the mood I am in so we can enjoy our time together.

Happenings as of late...

So as I mentioned... the bible study "non preggers" threw the bible study "preggers" a baby celebration this past Thursday. What a great time! They had games, food and presents ;~) It was a lot of fun and really nice to know that people are excited for you and genuinely happy!

Here is a picture of all of us together... the fun picture of course!


Ok... so that's Sarah M, Sylvia, Sarah P, Victoria, Danielle, Corrine, Nicole, Holly, Molly, Diane, me and Kristen... the last 4 are the preggers! Non preggers... thank you guys SO much for all that you did! We really appreciate it!

On Saturday Adam had his 10 year high school reunion... it was a low key affair, meeting up at a local bar but it was a really good time. It's fun to see Adam with all his old high school friends (well some of them... about half the class was there). Here is a picture of Josh, Adam, Farmer and Pat ;~)



While in Hagerstown Sandy and I went shopping for maternity clothes.

Back ground info... almost immediately after I told my friend Vicki that I was pregnant, she sent me a gift card to Motherhood Maternity. Such a sweet gesture and I was so excited to be able to get some cute pregnancy outfits. Many thanks Vicki!!!

Anyway, I was floored and couldn't wait to use it! However, with my new found respect for money, I wanted to be sure I was using it to the utmost potential... enter the Hagerstown Outlets who just happened to have a Motherhood Maternity. Also enter a mother in law who wanted to buy me my first maternity outfit... Again, such a sweet gesture... for not having any girls, she sure is getting this girly stuff down! Literally when Adam told me she wanted to do that for me, I teared up at the thought. So Sandy and I decide to hit up the outlets the next weekend I am in town.

Back to this past weekend... Sandy and I hit up Gap Outlet where Sandy buys me some fantastic maternity clothes (I got a hot tip that the maternity jeans at Gap were awesome!) and then we head to Motherhood where I totally stocked up on shorts, capris, tops and the cutest dress ever! I am so excited to start wearing all this stuff and I can't thank Sandy and Vicki enough!

God sure has blessed me with people in my life that can take the edge off of not having my mom around.

Last night

Last night was so awesome. Instead of our regular bible study, the non-preggers threw the preggers a 'baby celebration' complete with games and presents. It was such a pleasant surprise for us and we had a blast! However, I will talk more about it in a later post.

Last night we also said goodbye to Josh as he left for Iraq this morning. The boys prayed over him after the ladies left for the baby celebration and I got to hug him and say goodbye later on that night. For anyone out there, please pray for Josh and Heather during this time. It's their first deployment and everything is new.

Now for a little tribute to my little bro ;~)


Lamest self portrait ever!


Josh and his baby girl Layla


Josh, Heather and Layla on the stroke of midnight New Years Eve!


Josh and Layla (see a pattern? they are fond of that pup!)


Now these are some sexy boys who know how to rock some women's shades!


And in what could be the cutest picture ever... Josh and Heather watching princess Layla who has taken over the coffee table ;~)

Josh and Heather our prayers are with you and hopefully this will be the shortest 4 months in history! Love you guys!

13 Weeks

I just discovered that our baby has his own unique set of fingerprints now. I thought that was cool and worth sharing.

If more proof was needed...

that Ad.com is the best place to work... they put it in a video!

Click Here!

I get these things off Myspace...

1. What do you want for your Birthday? hmmm... I will be roughly 7 months along... I am going to go with 'baby stuff'... and a Nintendo Wii for Adam.

2. Who will be your next kiss? definitely the husband...

3. When is the last time you went to the mall? with the Townleys.... and I watched Rob 'ride' this.

4. Are you wearing socks right now? nope, flip flops (at work even!)

5. When was the last time you went out of the state? Wow, I am not sure... last summer... Saratoga Springs, NY?

6. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? ugh no.... 1. too expensive 2. too many rude people.... rather wait and watch them at home.

7. What was the last thing you had to drink? coffee... yeah, I know I am pregnant... your allowed at least 2 cups a day and I drink 1!!! I swear, look it up!

8. What are you wearing right now? Purple pants, white tank and grey pull over... the shirts of which are getting tight... time to hit up the maternity section.

9. What was your last purchase? Fuel for the Jeep... pricey stuff!

10.What was the Last food you ate? Very buttery popcorn ~ Soon to be tuna casserole!

11. Who would be the person you call if you were up in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep? LOL, Adam... I have done it before ;~)

12. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? Sadly, no... damn saving money!

13. Do you have a pet? Dear sweet Riley the Wonderbeagle

14. what was the last sporting event you saw? I am going with, who knows and who cares... I am not a sports fan... unless it involves Dads awesome seats at Camden Yards... yeah, got to keep that window open!

15. What's the most played song on your iTunes? Right now, Bullet by Mat Kearney... he is my new fave.I suggest checking him out ;~)

16. If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? In Greece with hubby

17. What is the last thing you purchased online? probably a Christmas gift

18. One thing you hate about yourself? hate is an awful strong word...

19. What's your favorite soup? Right now, Cup O Noodles (shrimp flavored but I dump out all the dry bits so it's just noodles and broth... perfectly plain for a nauseous stomach!)

20. Do you miss anyone? Who doesn't?

21. Last play you saw? Ain't Misbehavin'

22. What are your plans for the day? Return something at Target, the Vitamin Shoppe and Office Depot... exciting married life ;~)

23. Last person you messaged? Phone - Danielle; IM - Nancy at work ;~)

24. Ever go to camp? Lots of summers at camp... so much fun!

25. Were you an honor roll student in school? Sometimes...

26. What do you know about the (your) future? That God has control of it.

27. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne? Nope

28. Where are your best friends located? lots of different places

29. What grade are you in? grade? what grade is 'Married and In the Family Way'

30. When is the last time you were in love? In love is really a misleading concept... I practice love (or try at least) on a daily, hourly, minutely basis (and I make up words)

31. Who was the last person who made you cry? My mom

32. Do you have any tattoos or piercings? 6 piercings... 5 in the ears and one in the belly (not for long!) and 2 tattoos... one to be removed when the money is right ;~)

33. How do you like your soda? room temp... I am weird like that.

34. Do you like hot sauce? Sometimes... not so much lately... I get the feeling Peabert won't like spicy things.

35. Next time you'll take a shower? Tomorrow morning

36. What's the last movie you saw at home? Half of Borat... couldn't watch the rest.

37. What is your mood? Tired

38. Are you someones best friend? I sure hope so!

39. Have you ever been to Virginia? Yep

40. What are you doing right now? Filling out this survey but overall, working hard ;~)

Ode to Zach Braff

Rough Week

This past week has been a really hard one.

A few people have asked me how I am doing not having my mom around for my pregnancy and I have been answering that I haven't really thought about it yet. Consciously I think that is true. I haven't let myself think too much about my mom missing this and what not having her here means to me... I just focus on Peabert and how happy this is making me. I have consciously pushed out thoughts about my mom. Unfortunately that damn subconscious sneaks in and wrecks what you have worked so hard to avoid. I have been so angry the past week... no matter who or what is going on, there is something that annoys me that once I pick it up, I can't for the life of me put it down. It's almost like I can see the insanity that I am creating in my world but I couldn't stop it.

I spoke with a friend on Saturday and through our conversation I figured that my anger is more about my mom and is just playing out in my relationships... apparently your subconscious will get your feelings out, no matter how much you try to avoid them. Just knowing that a lot of my anger is misdirected has helped me put some of it down.

This is precisely what happened in Nov 05 when I hit a height of angry that I never want to get to again. I was pretty unrecognizable actually. I finally saw that the anger I had for my moms death was spilling into my life and making me and everyone close to me miserable.

Where that leaves feelings of my mom I am not sure... theoretically, if I am angry that needs to come out somewhere... too bad kickboxing is out of the picture now... I wonder how much 'angry' you can expend through walking ;~) When I think on it more... I find myself subscribing to the theory that anger is only there if you let it be. So with that theory, I choose to not be angry (a little sad here and there but not angry).

Whole new take on lunch

Yet another reason to be back at Ad.com... free lunch (occasionally, not everyday ;~)!



Anyway, I pulled up to the tables to grab food and I started filling my plate with what looked good... and this is what I ended up with...

*

that's coleslaw, pickles, a black olive and deviled eggs... if that isn't a pregnant woman's plate, I don't know what is... yumm!

* photo courtesy of Nancy's cell phone!

Tis the season

I wanted to give a shout out to some friends of mine...

First - friends of mine, Bryan and Lori welcomed their second son, little Matthew Bryan into the world on Monday April 16th... he is 20 inches long and 7 lbs. 4 oz. I got to see the 3 of them last night and all were doing well. I even got to hold little Matthew which just re-confirmed my love of babies!

Second - she isn't actually a friend of mine... I haven't met her (yet) but I am friends with her sister who is elated to be an aunt... Kelly and Gordon welcomed Mikara Marie into the world on Tuesday April 17th, 2007. According to proud aunt Angie, Kelly and baby are fine! Mikara was 19 1/2 inches long, 7lbs 9oz and has lots of hair!

Congrats to both couples and their families!

Appointment Yesterday

So we heard the baby's heartbeat yesterday! It was so awesome to hear that! It's roughly the size of a lime and it has an audible heartbeat. So amazing!

We also found out that we are 4 days more pregnant than we thought... tomorrow I will be 12 weeks... which means our due date is actually Nov 2, 2007!

Anyway, not much is new in our world... work is great for both Adam and I. He is really thriving at his new job and I am loving being back at Ad.com ~ Good times!

First Day Back

So today was my first day back and it was pretty awesome. Imagine a first day where you have established friendships and you know the bulk of the job... it was pretty great! I really can't imagine God working this out any better.

Tomorrow is my second doctor's appointment and I think this is when we actually get to hear the heartbeat... can't wait! BTW, we are going to find out (at 20 weeks) what we are having... and truly... boy or girl... it doesn't matter... I just want a healthy little one!

Anyway, super tired tonight so this is all I can muster ~ goodnight!

Oh and hot off the presses - my best friend Christine is pregnant too... friends since we were 9 years old and we are pregnant for the first time at the same time! Congrats chickie! It's going to be a great ride and I love ya!

Minor life change, again....

So in perhaps the weirdest twist of all time… I am leaving my current job and going back to Ad.com! Shocker, I know!

I am going to be working in a different department… actually it is the department I started in before I went to Legal.

It all happened rather fast but Friday the 13th (cue scary music) is my last day here and Monday the 16th is my first day back at Ad.com.

I will spare you all the details and I will just hit the highlights. Nancy and I joked about working together again because 2 of her 3 person department left… ha ha, funny… apparently her manager (and soon to be mine) thought it was more perfect than funny and wanted to know if I was serious… I sent in a resume, went on an interview and got the job… I weighed the options and for many reasons, Ad.com came out the winner!

I really feel like this is what God intended all along… everything worked out so well (oddly, but well) and I feel very comfortable in this decision.

And then there were 3!!!

Adam and I are pregnant!



I am nine and a half weeks along and so far so good. I haven't had any morning sickness… maybe a little nausea but nothing to speak of… I am starting to crave certain foods, not odd ones, just certain ones. And things that I used to like (like Chipotle) now seem revolting. All in all, it's been pretty easy so far! Oh and Adam and I have nicknamed the baby Peabert until we know the sex of the baby! If you are asking, it's a hybrid between Peanut and Blobert (guess which name was mine and which one was Adams).

My friends have been teasing me that I will be one of 'those' girls that loves being pregnant, embraces the crappy stuff and enjoys watching her body get big… and they are totally right. That isn't to say that I won't have days where I wish it was over with… I am sure I will… however, I really am going to love this. I relish the idea of a big stomach (hopefully not big legs, big ankles, big arms, big face, ect… but whatever)… I can't wait to actually see a living human actually growing in me. The thought almost makes me burst with anticipation! If you are rolling your eyes right now, smack yourself for me please.

Anyway, I say all that to say, I am so excited… I can't believe this day is here… I have dreamed about it longer than I have dreamed about a husband (sorry honey!).

The one sadness is that my mom isn't here to watch this…she would have loved to see me as a mom… She was going to make an AWESOME grandmother... she would have loved to see a little Adam/Jessica running around ;~)

Stay tuned… I am sure I will talk a little more about the baby… who am I kidding, that is my #1 topic right now!

Oh and BTW – I am the 6th girl to be pregnant in our bible study… holy what's in the water batman! Kristen, April, Molly, Diane and Kiley, I am right behind you guys!

Happiness on the block...

So it's official... ROB IS BACK!!! He flew into NC on Friday night where Danielle met him... they stayed the night in Wilmington and then drove home on Saturday! The whole day was consumed with 'when are they going to get here'!!!! It was like a celebrity was visiting our block, we kept peeking out the windows to get a glimpse of him!

They got home safe and sound and we all hung out at the neighbors and watched a movie. It was so awesome to have him back in the mix of normal life. What's really odd is that Josh and Heather had never met him but through all the talking, DVD making and photos, they pretty much knew each other anyway.

So, here is where I ask for some prayers... things are up in the air about where Rob will be stationed and I don't want to go into too much detail but if anyone and everyone out there would pray that God intercedes and places him in MD, that would be awesome. God is definitely bigger than the Marine Corps.

Here are some pictures of Robs return...


Adam and I decorated the house just a little bit ;~)


Victoria came over and decorated the Jeep


The happy couple back together!!! I have a VERY similar picture from when he returned home from Africa ;~)

More pictures to come, for sure!

Also, please keep Josh and Heather in your prayers as Josh deploys to Iraq on May 5th... apparently this block has to have someone in Iraq at all times.

Everyone loves a survey!

I got this from a fellow blogger, thanks Kathi (albeit a while ago ;~)

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Morning does not look good on me.
2. How much cash do you have on you? People trying to save money do not carry cash on them!
3. What's a word that rhymes with DOOR? I am with Kathi, POOR ;~)
4. Favorite planet? Earth
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? Danielle my Hero (That is what it actually reads... I didn't not type that in... 3 guesses as to who did)
6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone? White and Nerdy by Weird Al
7. What shirt are you wearing? Brown tank with a white long sleeve over it... yeah, I am pretty much cute ~
8. Do you label yourself? I guess... wife, friend, daughter, ect...
9. Name the brand of the shoes you're currently wearing: au natural
10. Bright or Dark Room? Bright room please... not a fan of the dark.
11. Why is there always a missing question? Daylight savings time?
12. What does your watch look like? A pink sprint phone
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? "hi hey check your pers email"
15. Where is your nearest 7-11? Somewhere on 3 but I try not to go there
16. What's a word that you say a lot? the
17. Who told you he/she loved you last? my husband... he's pretty much the only one that says it to me ;~)
18. Last furry thing you touched? Riley the Wonderbeagle
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days? Vitamins are my only drug now... oh and Tylenol.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed? Rolls of film... HA. It's been a long time since that. I do have almost 10,000 pictures on my computer (since 2005, there are more before that!)
21. Favorite age you have been so far? 25... after I got married but before my mom died.
22. Your worst enemy? Myself. No one is more harsh or more critcial then me.
23. What is your current desktop picture? Riley the Wonderbeagle
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? "I went the other way of hungry... now I am not hungry" riveting, I know.
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, what would it be? There isn't even a choice to be made... million bucks. Who do I see about that?
26. Do you like someone? I like a lot of people
27. The last song you listened to? Letting Go by Sozzi
28. What time of day were you born? Around the 7:00 pm hour
29. What's your favorite number? The number 7 but I don't know why
30. Where did you live in 1987? I had just moved to Maryland with my mom
31. Are you jealous of anyone? Yes but I am always working on controlling that
32. Is anyone jealous of you? Doubtful
33. Where were you when 9/11 happened? Getting a raise in my boss' office. Seemed inconsequential once I saw 9/11
34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Cry, stamp my feet and throw a temper tantrum... no, I put more money in and hope I get 2
35. Do you consider yourself kind? I can be
36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? I have a tattoo and it is on my hip. It's a breast cancer ribbon (for my mom) with a premmie purple heart in the middle (for Emilee)
37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Sign language
38. Would you move for the person you loved? If you are referring to my husband, then yes.
39. Are you touchy-feely? Not really, I can be at times but mostly, not so much
40. What's your life motto? I haven't really thought of a life motto... I try to be a good Christian... that really covers a lot
41. Name three things you have on you at all times: Cell phone, card holder and chapstick (medicated, my fave!)
42. What's your favorite town/city? There could be so many... San Diego is great, Annapolis is fantastic... pretty much everywhere has something great about it
43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash? Snickers bar out of the vending machine
44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it? I couldn't even begin to tell you
45. Can you change the oil on a car? Nope, thats why there are people you can pay to do that
46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her? That he got on a flight back to England
47. How far back do you know your ancestry? Not very far at all... I guess I could find out more but I have limited knowledge of it right now
48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy? Ad.com Christmas party... I couldn't wait to get home, put on sleepy clothes and curl up on the couch!
49. Does anything hurt on your body right now? LOL, nah, I am fine
50. Have you ever been burned by love? Who hasn't?
51. Do you have a crush on any bloggers? This guy is pretty hot! So is this one!
52. Where would you like to live? I would like to live in San Diego... it's gorgeous!

Weekend Fun

Overall Adam and I had a great weekend… it almost started out very tragically but God was watching over us and didn't allow that to happen.

As I mentioned previously, for the past week we have been watching my dad and his girlfriend's beloved dog, Maverick (or Mav or Maverazzle). The entire week was pretty uneventful, Maverick tried to body slam Riley and eat his food and Riley consistently tried to avoid playing with Mav. Then Saturday morning Adam and I took the dogs out for the morning walk.

We were leisurely walking up our street… in our slip on shoes, pjs and winter coats… when all the sudden Adam threw out an explicative and when I look down, I realize why. Maverick is now trotting away from us with no leash attached. It seems his leash has come apart from him collar.

Adam takes off after him at full speed… it didn't take Maverick long to realize that he could now run as fast as he wanted. Adam followed Mav up through a clearing to the end of a row of houses… at this point I thought about going back to get the car and try to find them but thought better about it and kept going. I prayed as hard as I could that God would stop him somehow someway, just enough to let us catch him. I decided to hope that Mav would zig zag beyond the row of houses Adam just chased him to so he would run right by me (hopefully I might even catch him!)… think a triangle with a row of houses being the base… sure enough, about 10ft before I get to the corner of the triangle, Mav comes shooting out and starts heading straight in front of me. I follow behind some more but it was REALLY cold and I was having trouble breathing at this point.

All the sudden Mav turns and looks at me… I saw a glimmer of hope that I may be able to lure him back… sure he ignores me every other time I call him but maybe he will listen to me now. Not so much, as it turns out he was setting me in his sights so that he could keep an eye on me whilst he poo'd. Yes… you read correctly… Mav stopped due to the call of nature.

I pulled myself together and started jogging toward him, just hoping he wouldn't scare and start running again. Nope, apparently the call of nature for Mav is too strong and I was able to walk right up on him and grab his collar. After he was finished he gave one final tug to get away and then fell to his fate, he was captured.

Then he proceeded to throw up. I just about followed suit. The walk home was probably the longest in history… our chests were so ice cold that breathing was so very painful. When we got back to the house I was crying and near hyperventilation because of the pain… Adam almost called an ambulance for me. After a few minutes of breathing my chest started to unclench and I felt better. Man, what a way to wake up on a Saturday!

In other news… we went to H-town to celebrate Spencer's 9th anniversary on Saturday night… we went to the meeting and then to Denny's after to spend some time with Spencer and Jessica (his lovely bride ;~) It was really great to catch up with them and see how God is working in their lives. There are visible relationships around them that have healed… of which we all doubted if they would ever heal! It was pretty amazing and at the very least, a testament to what God can accomplish.

Sunday was a chill day… we went to church and heard a good message from Greg… socialized with friends and then came home and promptly rested for the remainder of the day. Later in the day the neighbors came over and it was like old times… lately we have all been so busy that just getting together and hanging out hadn't happened but last night we did and it was great! Oh and we watched Grey's from Thursday night… what the heck is up with George and Izzie???

As it turns out...

I made it through all 13 bins of clothing and shoes. It literally took all day because I would get up and walk away every so often but I made it through.

I actually made it through the entire process without crying... not one tear. A feat that amazed me... I actually started to feel guilty that this process wasn't making me more sad... not to worry. As it turns out, I was storing it all up for one massive cryfest.

On the last article of clothing I looked around at the well organized bins... all labeled with their contents and where they are headed... and I just started crying. It was one of those crys that you wonder when it will end... like you aren't actually in control anymore. For a solid half hour I just sat there looking at my moms clothing, sobbing.

All these pieces that she spent years collecting... some I am sure hadn't been washed since she last wore them... pieces of her hair woven into the fabric. It was a pretty crushing experience.

Everyone (sans my husband) has been ragging on me to go through the bins... pick out the ones you want... give the rest away... start the quilt project... just start doing it... and so on and so on. What they don't realize is the extreme pain that is part of the process. Yeah, people get that its "sad" and "it will be hard" but really, unless you have done this... for someone you truly love and cherished... you don't know the heartache... the actual physical, emotional and mental heartache that it takes to go through your lost persons clothing. As I was going through the clothes not crying, I really thought that all these people were right... I was just putting this off for some made up reason... I mean, I was doing fine... making decisions and enjoying seeing her stuff again. But as I suspected, the pain was there and it just decided to hit me all at once. I suspect I was ready since it is done (although I will remind you, I haven't actually given the clothes away yet so it isn't really over) but my fears were validated. It hurt.

I am thinking of a friend who was in NC this weekend going through her mother, father and younger brothers things because they were all killed in a head on collision on Christmas Day. My heart goes out to her and I am praying hard for her. If you feel it in your heart, please lift her up in prayer as well. I know she needs it.

Noticably Absent

Johnnie is right... I totally called him out on being absent and I have been AWOL lately. Sorry about that. Things have been a little busy around here... my new job has had me stressed out for the past 2 weeks. It was a rough start and I am still lost and confused but things are getting better. I am starting to understand the concept of my job and where I fit in which is a remarkable change from the first week.

Things around the homestead are up and down and everywhere in between... do you want the good news or the bad news first? Ok, bad news it is....

Adam's beloved Grammy died this past week. Grammy was Adam's moms mom... and she died on March 6, 2007... three years to the day that Adam's brother Ryan died. Yeah, its been a rough week. Adam's mom is doing well considering although I firmly believe that losing your mother at any age is a traumatic experience. We are heading to H-town tomorrow for the funeral services and reception type event. The family is really trying to celebrate Grammy's life because she had a good long one. And this I know... she leaves behind a wealth of love and family... what I consider to be a mark of a good life.

The good news is that Adam is working FT earning a salary with a lawyer that he has been working with for the past few months! He earns a base salary with the ability of earning more depending on cases he brings in, work that he does around the office, cases that are doing well, ect... It's a GREAT opportunity for us because we finally have a sense of security and the ability to make a concrete financial plan plus Adam gets to learn from someone that he really likes and respects and in turn he is liked and respected by his boss. It's really the best of both worlds!

Actually funny story about the boss... lets call him HL. Adam did work for an attorney named CJ... when the work was done, CJ passed Adam's name and number to a friend of his named HL. Adam was telling me about this in the car one day and mentioned his first name... I thought for a moment and asked if ______ was his last name... Adam looked at me dumbfounded... it was. As it turns out I lived next door to HL for a few years as a child. I actually babysat his children a few times. Such an incredibly small world! Anyway the rest of the story goes as follows... HL and Adam spoke but nothing really came of it... HL suffered some loss in his life and was very busy with business so the timing wasn't great. Fast forward one year of Adam going place to place, working for many different lawyers. HL calls Adam out of the blue and offers him some work... of which Adam has been doing for the past several months. A few months ago they start talking about this arrangement and then on Thursday HL brings it up and Adam started Monday.

It's been a wild ride but it feels good where we are.

Oh and remember all that lame talk about me going through my moms clothes... how I want to always do it but I never do. I did it today!!! I still have 3 bins left but I have gone through 10 bins of my mothers clothing and separated them into pieces for the quilt, pieces to give away, pieces to throw away and a not sure pile. And get this... my give away pile is large... much larger than I would have expected. Apparently I was ready to do this! More to come on that because this is only the first step... next I actually have to drop off the clothes at a donation center... there may be tears involved in that step ;~) But I am this far and that makes me happy ;~)

Oh and Maverick, my dad and his girlfriend's ever loving Shiba Inu is back to stay with us for the week! It promises to be a fun time!

1st Day on the Job

So today was my first day... All in all, it was a good day. It is a lot of information all at once which was a tad overwhelming. Not to mention the idea of learning an entirely new process... equally as overwhelming. However, I am looking forward to that day a few weeks (or months) where it clicks and I start to know my job and where I fit in.

One good thing is that there are already friendly faces in the office. The day of my interview, Danielle took me to lunch with a couple of the girls that work there... Angie and Amber. Seeing them in the halls today and then Angie stopping by to chat at my cube was so nice. It REALLY helps to not feel so alone.

Oh and get this... my new boss, Q... the one I was so excited about working for because I have heard nothing but great things about him... yeah, he has a new job with the parent company so his last day is in 2 weeks. How is that for job karma! ;~)

Thanks for all the prayers and well wishes, I definitely needed it!

Last Day...

So today was my last day at Ad.com! It was interesting to walk away for the last time. I have been there for almost 4 years and this really was my first 'grown up' job. I did have good times there and they did afford me opportunity that most companies wouldn't have. Things may have deteriorated lately but in a way, I am glad they did. It made me get off my butt and see what I am actually worth and what I have the potential for ($$ wise and person wise).

I was sad to leave some of the people... Nancy has been my best friend there for 4 years... I started working with her and we never lost that friendship even when I moved on to the Legal department (which makes me believe we will be friends even after I leave the company ;~)... KMR made my job bearable (as much as she could) in the last year... I would have gone crazy without her! Suzy always being the ever stylish sweet considerate AM... I am going to miss her smile and Legal cheer (oh there was a cheer), Kelly... I still remember when you came for your interview and I talked to Casey about you! I am so glad he made the choice he did... he couldn't have picked a better person and I loved working with you! Beth... So sweet and always so pleasant to be around. I will miss your great attitude and fun commentary! I gotta say... John C. We only worked together for a short time but wow... you are one lovable and huggable guy. I see great things for you... I hope I get to watch them come true. There are so many more people that I will miss tremendously... I can't begin to mention them all... well I did begin to mention them... I just can't end to mention them.

But in the end... I have to leave these people that I spend everyday all day with and that's life. Overall I am happy and excited. I am really looking forward to starting something new.

The only other sadness that I have about leaving is that I had a message from my mom (yes, over 2 1/2 years old) that I never erased from my voicemail. I didn't listen to it today (or even recently for that matter) but it doesn't matter... I know what it said and sounded like. It was her calling to ask me to pick up somethying on the way home from work. She was asking and as she was asking she started crying. She was so tired and in so much pain that she just started crying and lamenting about being so sick. And I kept it all these years. It was a safety net I guess... that and obviously I hate throwing things away (13 bins of her clothing, don't forget) but it was her and her voice and I have to give that up in order to quit. That over everything affected me the most. But I can't stay at a job just because my moms voice is on a machine. I am moving on and I know she would want this for me. (No one needs to agree with me about this... I already know its true... thanks though)

I have a few days off of which I hope to accomplish something other than complete laziness but we'll see... A few of things on the agenda are: scrapbooking, spending my JoAnns (thanks Nancy, Beth and Heidi!) giftcard, spending my DSW giftcard, going through my mom's clothes (been on the list for a VERY long time), talking to a financial planner and all sorts of other stuff that is difficult to do when you are working FT. I will let everyone know how it goes! Now I am off to get a goodnight sleep so I can properly enjoy the next 5 days off ;~)

It's a dog's life!

Adam and I are babysitting my dad and Stacie's new dog, Maverick (aka Mozilla, Mo, MavvyMo, ect...) and here is how he and Riley are spending the day...





What a great life!

TidePoint Security Sucks

It's wintery weather outside... not great conditions for driving home so I got the ok to leave at 4 instead of 5.

Imagine my surprise when I walk outside and my new Jeep is not where I parked it... I will give you time... I am going to let that sink in...

Almost immediately my mind goes to it being towed... which I am thankful for because it didn't leave me much time to dwell on the possibility that my Jeep was stolen. I locate the nearest sign through my tears and call the number. Sure enough they have an 03 Jeep that was towed from TidePoint. Fantastic.

I call Adam in hysterics now. I have no idea how I am supposed to get to the impound lot from Ad.com in this snowy wonderland that is getting worse by the minute. I cry myself back to the office and find the closest facilities person.

I plead to know what happened. They don't know but in the meantime Adam calls the impound lot and finds out that the towing company was called by the crack Security squad here at TidePoint. Apparently they are now towing the cars that don't park in front of a cement block (marking the spot)... which is news to me because people have been parking in those 'spots' as long as I can remember.

Whatever... I ask to talk to aforementioned security guard and... well lets just say I don't think we will be BFF's anytime soon. I not so politely asked why wasn't I informed that they were going to tow my Jeep (a common practice at TidePoint) and why he would call it in today of all days... the roads are terrible, everyone has known this storm was coming... why would you purposefully strand someone on a day like today. No good answers came of that.

Luckily someone from our facilities department offered and insisted on giving me a ride to the impound lot (no matter how many times I write that, it still doesn't sink in) and I was able to free my Jeep.

$250 cash... parking for a day.

Big news...

Hold onto your hats everyone... I got a new job! Holy cow, can that be right? I am leaving Ad.com and actually moving on? Amazing.

I am terrified of rejection... yeah, yeah, I know no one likes rejection but I am down right petrified of it. So much so that it kept me stagnant for a very long time. It didn't matter that the bad days outweighed the good or that I spent more time in tears than not or that I spent 9 hours a day wishing that it were 5 o'clock. Calculate that... thats a lot of my life that I wished away... that's just sad.

Nope... it was more like a battered woman's mentality... I held out for the place that I once loved or just waited for the occasional good day... just praying that I would see a dog walk around the corner and greet me*. But as it has to happen, things never went back to the way they were. Gone is the company that I knew and loved and thus, just one of the reasons for my departure. Not that overall it isn't a great place... I would still recommend it to people looking for employment (maybe not my job ;~). They really do attempt to keep a fun young atmosphere and that is pretty awesome. Just too many things changed for me.
*The former owners used to bring their dogs into work almost everyday.

The turning point (although I had already been active in getting this job for a little while) was when my accomplishments were credited to someone else for an award handed out at the company meeting. Not that I wanted the award, please don't think that... I was already on my way out mentally so an award was not even on my radar. But to think that my job and my processes were being ascribed to someone else... it tore my heart out. I cried for hours after the meeting and I cried more when I came home. What more worthless of a feeling can you have to think that you haven't made a difference. It sucked. And it was enough for me. I knew I needed to leave.

So that leads me to my new job. I will be working for a contractor for the government where there is plenty of room for growth and advancement. I am really looking forward to this opportunity. I want to reinvent myself a little... meet new people... actually try and excel in the world instead of being comfortable in my own mediocrity.

It's been a long application process and I want to thank Danielle for all her urging and persistence. She is definitely my job guru. Believe me when I say, this would not have happened without you.

Ho Hummm

So life is plugging along. As always, there are bumps but I am just trying to keep them at bay.

I don't really have a lot to write about right now... just wanted to check in.

Oh and FYI... the last post is a line from The Office that I found hysterical. After I posted I had the thought that people could take it in the wrong way ;~) It's all about The Office... totally need to see Jim and Pam get together! I need to get out more.

Good Advice

Secret Secrets are no fun.
Secret Secrets hurt someone.