This is how I know I am old...

The crisper is full.


The fruit bowl is full.


Such a far cry from eating out of vending machines (Jessi) and microwavable chicken patty sandwiches (Adam).

Grocery lists and menu planning = better living!

Today's Antics

Ok... I will be answering questions but I want to give it some more time and then I will make one big post.

In the meantime, some news about us.

Chase now says Mama, Dada and Hi! He has been saying Mama and Dada for the past week or so and we kept wondering if he really knew what he was saying or if they were just sounds. We are now convinced he knows what the mean. He knows where to point or look and he says them when asked ;~) YAY! My boy is a genius. The word Hi is relatively new... like today new. Grandma heard that one and praised him... then he couldn't get enough of saying it. Uh oh is still his favorite word though. He entertained Aunt Mary and Uncle Dave with his never-ending supply of uh-ohs every time they tossed something to the ground.

Aunt Mary and Uncle Dave were up to help clean out Grandma's house. It really is amazing how much one person can collect over a lifetime ;~) After we were done we went to the Creamery and enjoyed some ice cream in the beautiful spring weather.


Couldn't you just eat this kid up? Also, that seat... best investment ever! It stays in the car with us and it is SO handy! On chairs, in booths, on picnic tables... it works everywhere!

Tonight was girls night out for the Hagerstown moms! The 10 of us had dinner at the Olive Garden and then headed to Kohl's to shop. Laugh if you must but you shop with a 16 month old and you'll shut up right quick. We browsed, we meandered, we contemplated... it was glorious!


Ok... from L to R: me, Laura, Dannette, Mandy, Katrina, Laura, Katy, Shelby, Kari and Jess! Whew! That's a mouthful ;~)

In other news... Adam and I bought a basketball and a basketball hoop today. It started out we were just shopping for the basketball. We had done some research about the hoops and weren't willing to spend too much money so we resigned to just getting the ball and looking for deals in the future. When we went to Walmart (don't judge, it really is cheaper) we found comparable hoops within the price range we wanted... sold. This is our answer to a gym membership we won't use and just not exercising at all... both of which we have done. Adam really enjoys just shooting hoops and I enjoy spending time with him away from the distractions that linger inside... plus it will be something that Chase can enjoy growing up. I am very excited to get it set up and put it to good use... I see a project for tomorrow!

On our way home from Walmart we stopped at a local park to play around with the new basketball...








Definitely fun!

Ok, it's late and daylight savings night so I better get off the computer and get some sleep! Crossing my fingers that Chase doesn't realize the time change and sleeps late!

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Just a quick prayer request. Check out this blog http://patriceandmattwilliams.blogspot.com/ Their little boy is very sick and needs prayer from anyone and everyone. They have a very compelling story and she is such an inspiration, it's well worth the read!

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Don't forget this post... ask me questions!

Audience Participation

So I have seen this done on other blogs that I frequent and thought it was pretty cool.

Do you have a question for me? Is there something you have been dying to ask but just didn't want to raise your hand? Ever wonder where I have lived in my life? Ever think, has she been arrested? Ever curious as to what my nickname was in high school?

Feel free to ask questions and I will answer them as honestly as possible.... as you probably know, I am an open book ;~)

5 years

5 years goes by too fast.

Today was the 5th anniversary of Ryan's death.

What really haunts me is that he was Sandy's Chase. Ryan was her first born... the one she learned from... the one that she experienced firsts with... the guinea pig ;~) Sometimes when I experience the joy of Chase, I think about Sandy and how it was to lose this little boy of hers. How she remembers the feeling of first holding his hand and walking with him... and then remembering that she buried him. I can't even describe the lump that rises in my throat. All I can do is try harder to etch the joy of Chase deeper in my heart and believe that in all things, God has his hand.



Rest in peace Ryan... you are greatly loved and greatly missed.

Weekly Photo Challenge #7

This week was a macro challenge... get in, get close, get abstract.

Here are my best shots. I am not thrilled with the exposure but I like a lot of my concepts ;~) I thought I had 3 filters that would make shooting this challenge a lot of fun but as it turns out they are 49mm and my lens is a 52 mm... so close. Oh well... hopefully there is an adapter that I can buy to use them in the future but for now I will have to settle with the straight lens.













There is a theme that runs through these pictures but I don't know how obvious it is... 50 G points* to whoever figures it out.

*G points will only make you the envy of friends and family... they have no monetary value.

A dose of cuteness

Chase enjoying the nice afternoon weather in his new summer flip flops.

I love this kid!

Weekend Recap

So as you might have suspected, it was a very busy weekend for Adam and I. The funeral was last night and there was a lot of prep work to be done... in the midst of life as usual.

Friday was life as usual in the morning. Dannette's birthday is actually tomorrow but we all got together to celebrate on Friday. We made an attempt at a surprise, but Dannette quickly figured out what was going on. Stealth we are not.

This is what 9 babies and their mommies look like! It was semi-controlled chaos and it was so much fun. Thanks to Jess for hosting such madness.


As we like to do, we lined the kids up on the couch and snapped away. It seriously looked like the paparazzi. I actually borrowed Katy's version of the picture since I am still learning my camera and somewhat mucked it up. Live and learn ;~) As you can see, Chase was thrilled with this idea. Not a happy camper.

L to R: Sadie, Jenna, Chase, Adrianna, Adam, Lexi, Aiden, Anna and Laura!

Friday night Adam and I spent preparing for Pete's funeral service. Adam worked on a photo board and picked out pictures to put around the chapel and I designed and printed his remembrance cards... a talent I have unfortunately cultivated. It was a very late night... we were bound and determined to finish everything Friday night so we didn't have to rush around on Saturday. Pete's brother and his wife were coming into town, as well as Adam's best friend Spencer and we wanted to be able to visit and enjoy the time together, not spend it running around. We powered through and got it done... and we have some fun memories of us working together... you can't beat that.

Saturday was a very relaxing day. We lunched, we chatted, we enjoyed each other's company.

Here is Chase all ready for Pops' funeral.


The service was fantastic... you know, for a funeral service. We were EXTREMELY blessed to have a pastoral friend of ours, Pat, and his wife Kristen come from Annapolis to preside over the service. Pat has been a pastor for a little over 2 years and this was his first funeral. He didn't even hesitate when Adam asked, he was just happy to serve. He counseled with Greg (BACC's senior pastor who married my mom and step dad, married Adam and I and presided over my moms funeral) at length and the outcome was a beautiful service. It was filled with this unabashedly love for Jesus Christ. He made no qualms about proclaiming the love and healing that we can find in Christ. He also talked about some misconceptions about suicide and what is taught in churches. It was a message that the people there needed to hear, not only for Pete but for Ryan too. I can't thank Pat and Kristen enough for being such good friends and doing this for Adam and I.

Sunday was a good ole lazy morning. Spencer and Adam ran out to the grocery store and got fixins for waffles (shout out to the Townley's!), eggs, sausage and bacon. What resulted was a feast for for kings and queens... which we quickly made short work of.


Becky looking at Sandy's Ryan album.


Adam and Spencer getting some quality time together.

It was really a good feeling to be surrounded with family and friends this weekend. We had such fun hearing and sharing stories about Pete and Ryan, knowing that while they had demons, they had good times too. They were both men trying to find a way out and just didn't make it in time... but no matter what they did or who they became, they were still a dad and a brother and they were and still are loved. As Pat said, the funeral service is a closure for death but the healing continues. Here's to the continuation of our healing... RIP Pete.

Slacker

So... I didn't do this weeks photography challenge... let the slacker jokes commence ;~)

There was a lot of freedom in this assignment and apparently I don't do well with freedom. I had some trouble narrowing down an idea or concept. It just wouldn't come together for me.

I was also a tad distracted this week. The entire week has been figuring funeral arrangements, going through paperwork and photos and getting ready for tomorrow night. It seems that every time I would have been working on taking pictures was consumed with all that and cleaning the house.

Anywho... I am a slacker... that's not new information... sorry to disappoint my adoring fans. Hopefully I will be back on track next week!

My Guy

I stole this from my friend Amy Jean. I was excited because it wasn't 'me' focused... it was husband focused... and believe it or not, I like focusing on him ;~)

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? this can be taken 2 ways... if we are in fact talking about the TV screen, then it has to be Lost... not much else captures his attention. more likely though, even if he is sitting in front of the TV, he is looking at his computer screen. in that case something techy and geeky... Reader, Digg, Reddit, ect...

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Parmesan Peppercorn if they have it... usually they don't so Ranch.

3. What's one food he doesn't like? raw onions... oh and baked potatoes

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order? water or a soda

5. Where did he go to high school? Saint Maria Goretti

6. What size shoe does he wear? 11

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Apple computers... and all related paraphernalia... and the collection has already started.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Leftover meatloaf sandwich... with mayo ;~)

9. What would this person eat every day if he could? WANGS (aka Buffalo or Baltimore wings ;~)

10. What would he never wear? a dress... well maybe on a dare. he's definitely not afraid to have fun. as far as men's clothes, he is pretty open. if it looks good on him and he feels good... he wears it.

11. What is his favorite sports team? hmmm, I am actually blanking here. he really doesn't 'follow' sports. I will say NY Yankees but that's more because I like the Yankees ;~)

12. Who did he vote for? Obama... but I know who he really wanted to vote for ;~)

13. Who is his best friend? Honestly... me. then Spencer.

14. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? get so worked up about inconsequential stuff. ie. when chase has a bad nap day... I generally think it's the end of the world and go to a negative place. I know he wishes I wouldn't do that... that I would just roll with it. I am with Adam on this one... I wish I would just roll with it too.

15. What is his heritage? 50% Luxembourgian... there is even a town named after the G's! The other 50% is a mix... too many to list.

16. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? Hmmm, couple possibilities here... Carrot, Red velvet, Molten chocolate. He's pretty easy to please!

17. Did he play sports in high school? He played baseball all his life... and he wishes he played it now! He was extremely good baseball player ;~) He also played basketball in high school but baseball was the real passion.

18. What could he spend hours doing? It's a toss up... playing on the computer or playing video games.

19. What is one unique talent he has? The ability to weather storms with grace and dignity. He consistently impresses me.

20. If he could vacation anywhere, where would it be? Tahiti... that's been a dream of ours for a long time now ;~) One day we will get there!

I love that guy!

He's Always Here

After Adam's dad died we quickly realized that if a funeral and burial were going to happen, we would have to pay for it. Unfortunately in our circumstance, that just wasn't an option so Adam was wrestling with a few different ideas on how to handle the situation.

As always, God was at work in the background.

Adam's mom and dad (Joe) went to Rest Haven to speak with them about cost and options. Oddly enough, since our family is known so well at that cemetery (scary right?), they offered a highly discounted price which includes cremation and a service. Even with the extremely generous offer... seriously, they discounted it by 70% for the cremation alone... even with that, we just couldn't swing it.

Background = God still working.

On Friday Adam decided to break from all the rhetoric of death and go to his regular AA lunch meeting. Pretty much as soon as Adam sat down, the other men pulled out their checkbooks and started writing. 3 men had given him more than half of what he needed for the basic cost. They also told him that another friend, who was out of town at the time, had more money that was collected on Adam's behalf... just like that, the cost of the funeral was covered.

It really was more than money that these people gave him... they gave him the ability to treat his father with respect and dignity. It truly amazes me how selfless these people can be... maybe it's because it's Adam or maybe it's because none of them are far off from where Pete was. No matter the reason they gave, they did... and because of that, a man can be properly laid to rest. It makes me tear up even still.

All in all, the donations were above what we needed for the funeral so we are going to try to rent out a room at a local restaurant for after the service. Our hope is that family and friends can congregate and mourn together and also to repay the men and women who donated so generously.

I tend to forget that God is always here. He is always watching over us and always has our best interest at heart. This is just one more shining example of his love and power.
________________

In other unrelated news... this is what happens when you get my MIL and I together for a trip to Target.

That would be Chase's new bucket hat (courtesy of Grandma) and Grandma's glasses. Literally so cute I could eat him up!

Weekly Photo Challenge #5

The theme is Anatomy and the Human Form.











Shockingly I used Chase as my subject... gasp, I know. Enjoy.

Update

I don't really have a lot to say other than I probably am not going to say much. I am almost certain that doesn't make a lick of sense but at this point... I really don't care. I am just tired and worn out.

First and foremost... thanks to everyone for your thoughts, prayers and well wishes. Adam is doing as well as can be expected. For anyone that knows him, you know how calm and reasonable he can be in the face of trials. I try to take lessons on his attitude, love and restraint. He is amazing.

Currently he is taking care of some business in St. Mary's county... paperwork, securing the house and figuring out what's next. Luckily he has a boss who always has his best interest at heart and went with him to help out. He is still in the sorting phase so we don't know how easy this will be wrapped up or if it will be long and drawn out. There are many factors at work and it's a delicate and complicated situation.

As far as any other details... I am going to avoid talking about them on my blog... at least for the time being. There may come a day when I need or want to share (after all, I am all about the therapy ;~) but for now... I really can't. With that being said, tomorrow I will post my weekly photography submissions and then resume normal posting.

Thanks again for all your prayers... they are greatly appreciated and always welcome.

Stunned

Please keep us in your prayers. We just found out that this afternoon Adam's dad Pete shot and killed himself. We are all still processing the news and haven't really been able to feel anything yet.

To be clear... Pete is Adam's biological father who lived in St. Mary's County, not the father that we live with.

Absent on Valentine's Day

I purposely didn't post on Valentine's Day because Adam and I agreed to ignore it completely... which we did for the most part. No cards, no gifts, no eating out... just a family day enjoying each other's company. I've never been a big Valentine's Day fan anyway and now with trying to save money... cards - waste of paper... gifts - waste of money... eating out - not worth it... flowers - HUGE waste of money. Not to say that I don't like flowers... I do... lots... but you are in the position that we are in... saving for emergency funds and a down payment... flowers that last a week... just to say I love you... not practical. Anyway, have I depressed or angered anyone yet? Sorry... this is just our philosophy... you are entitled to your philosophy ;~)

The one thing we did was make cookies. Spent maybe $5 in total for ingredients, decorations and some tinfoil and we got to express our love for each other.

Here is one of Adam's expressions. Hint: I am the "U" in that statement ;~)


This one was mine...

Using Christmas cookie cutters for Valentine's Day = getting creative with your messages.


I do... I really do heart A G


As it turns out... A hearts J too! Lucky her!

Unfortunately Chase hasn't been sleeping the best this weekend. It's his MO... sleep well for a few days and then destroy mom and dad with a few days of sleeping poorly. Hopefully we are heading back into the sleep well stage. This is what sleeping poorly will get you...


For no reason other than he is grumpy and nothing is to his liking. Fortunately for Chase, he is still cute when he looks like this... it really is what saves him. Seriously, I cannot look at this picture without laughing. I love this kid... grumpybutt and all.

And now a few other pictures of my sweet fun loving boy...

Still loves Dozer!


Lately when we ask for kisses or huggins he runs down the hall and hides at the door for a moment... then comes running back and throws himself at us. Tons of fun for everyone involved.

Weekly Photo Challenge #4

This week's theme is Rhythm and Repetition





I had a difficult time with this challenge. It wasn't the challenge's fault... it was more mine. Nothing popped into my head immediately so I kept putting it off... hence the 2 pictures instead of 3. Actually, now (of course), I have more of a theme in my head but it's a little too late... maybe it will come in handy for a future assignment ;~)

I definitely went with more of a repetition theme. Just tried to look around and see the multiples around me. Enjoy!

New Camera...

Last weekend Adam, Chase and I took a road trip to State College to buy a DSLR... thank you Craigslist ;~) It's an entry level Pentax camera which is the brand I used all through college. The previous owner took immaculate care of it and sold it with everything it originally came with... 2 lenses, camera bag, wires, charger, manuals, ect... Also, since I used Pentax in school, I had a really nice lens that is compatible with this camera body. Added bonus!

I thought since I have a degree in photography and spent a good portion of my life taking pictures with an SLR that I would jump right back into the mix and know what I was doing.

Raise your hand if you know where this is going?

Oh boy am I out of the loop! It's a whole new beast and it is definitely going to take some time to get used to. Luckily Adam and I share an interest in photography so I have someone to learn with ;~)

Here are a couple shots of my favorite subject:


First... just look at that smile... I could so eat him up! Second... clearly I have not learned about lighting yet ;~) We are at Little Gym and I think they have fluorescent lighting (anyone for banning that lighting all together, does it ever look good?) I definitely need to work on the tone and achieving a more realistic color.


Seriously... this face is SO beautiful... I could just kiss it all day long... wait... I do kiss it all day long ;~) Here we are at Port City Java waiting for some friends. There was tons of available light so I didn't need to worry about overhead lighting or a flash (the dreaded flash!) I like how true to color this image is.


This is probably my favorite picture so far. We are still in Port City Java but he is facing the window more so his face gets all the available light there is to offer. I love how the light makes the blue in his eyes stand out. Not to mention I love the way he is posed... he loves chewing on his jackets so this is a regular occurrence... and I get a lovely shot of those beautiful baby fingers!

P.S. I know Nancy... the hair... it's a mess but I can't do it... not yet ;~)

My growing boy!

Chase's 15 month appointment was last Friday and boy is he growing!

He is 34.5" tall and weighs 28 lbs! Doc said he is off the charts for height and around 97% for weight... that's my boy!



Developmentally he is pretty much on track... everything but the talking... which is weird because talking was never a problem for me (wink wink)! The doc wasn't too concerned yet but noted that he would be paying close attention to what words he can say at his 18 month appointment. So far "Uh oh" is the only word he uses with precision... and he says it often ;~) I am really not worried about this but I have been trying to prompt him to say certain words more... mama, dada, hi, doggie, juice, ect.

Otherwise he is doing well! He knows about 8 signs which definitely help his frustration levels. One of the best signs I taught him was 'help'... he uses that sign with frequency! He can follow directions... you know, if he wants to ;~) He gives huggins, kisses, waves hi and bye. He is still extremely clingy but there are signs that he is opening up a little. He will walk toward and give huggins to grandma and grandpa if I ask him to... which is a small accomplishment but I will take what I can get ;~)

All in all, my little boy is growing up!

Rough day

It's been a rough past few days. I may elaborate more in future posts but for now, please just keep us in your prayers. It's nothing extreme or horrible... just been a little up and down ;~)

I will leave you with an image from an unseasonably warm day here in MD.

Weekly Photo Challenge #3

This week's challenge is to take UP TO 3 photographs featuring the color RED.

I hope you enjoy!

Bad Bad Day

I woke up and couldn't speak my throat hurt so bad. Chase woke up grumpy. Chase spent the morning whining and hitting. Couldn't go to Little Gym because both of us are still sick. Had to get out of the house one way or another so we went to Target. Whined on the way there, whined on the way home (both of us). All the while my nose and throat feel raw. Tried to feed him lunch but he chewed up pieces of sandwich, took it out and then threw it at me. Tried grapes, he threw them. Tried carrots, he flat out refused them. Decided we both needed a nap regardless of the lunch we had. Put him down for a nap. Tried to curl up in a very uncomfortable chair to 'sleep'. Cat started whining outside the door. Would not stop so I let him out. Watched an episode of friends while I tried to get tired enough to pass out. Finally closed my eyes. Woke up with a start 15 minutes later. Chase was awake after 45 minutes of sleep. Decided I didn't care. Closed my eyes. Cat started whining from outside the window to be let back in. Again, would not stop so I went to back door to let him in. He wanted in through the front door. Decided I will NEVER own a cat. Chase is still awake. I have not been able to go back to sleep. I have also not been able to bring myself to get him.

I hate being a sick.

Weekly Challenge

2 friends of mine (Diana and Em) have started a weekly photography challenge to help flex and stretch their creative muscles. I have been hemming and hawing about getting back into photography so this seemed like the perfect answer.

I have already started on this weeks challenge... it's amazing how quickly the drive comes back. I started looking at the world in photographs again and that felt amazing. I actually forgot what that was like... to see something and know art is there.

Friday is the date we post our results so you will be seeing my results here weekly... I hope you enjoy!

Oh and to any of my fellow photographers (ahem *rose* ahem), the challenge is open to new members... just say the word ;~)

Super Bowl Fun

So we spent the evening at our friends house and had a great time.


This is Lexi in one of her favorite hiding spots... moments before sadness happened.


I think very shortly after this Chase decided to close the door (as he likes to do) and Lexi's thumb was caught in the jam. This is all conjecture and Chase is only charged with the alleged crime but I can't imagine what else would have happened. Luckily her thumb seemed to take shape again and the nail (while bruised) seemed be in tact... it was a very scary few moments though ;~( Chase apologized to Lexi (one of his new signs) and I think all was forgiven ;~)


Chase was way too interested in his surroundings to concentrate on eating but...


Lexi loved her mini-burritos!


Adam, Dave and Kari trying to enjoy the 3D effects at halftime... in reality, we couldn't get them off soon enough. IMO... they created more of a headache than anything ;~) Big build up, big disappointment.


This was a gift from Chase to Mr. Dave. If you refer to this post where Chase was caught smooching on his little girl... he thought it only appropriate to apologize and offer to stay 12 inches away from Lexi ;~)

Every notice how now that we have children, all the pictures are of them? They are the cutest!

As for the game... exciting but I thought the Steelers were big bullies and very unsportsmanlike... I would have rather seen the Cardinals win for that reason alone. However, apparently the winner is determined by points, of which the Steelers had more. Oh well, I don't like football anyway ;~)

I'm ready...

for the Super Bowl!



I figured since I don't favor a team, I may as well sport the team I love ;~)

We are heading to our friends house to watch the game... re: play with the kids, eat yummy food and perk up when the commercials are on! It should be a blast... and I am sure I will have pictures to post! I hope everyone is having a great day of relaxing and game watching!