So it's official

Adam and I are cable free. I turned in the box yesterday and supposedly someone came out to turn our cable off (haven't checked if that really happened or not).

Before you applaud us too much... we did keep the internet connection and we do have TiVo... which means we can record (with state of the art equipment) the 5 broadcast channels that we get! It's slightly comical but it works for us!

Cable was just really pointless for us. Adam and I are more broadcast channel people anyway... we like Boston Legal (him more than me ;~), Scrubs, The Office and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition... all broadcast shows...

I discovered last night that fewer channels makes it easier for me to turn the TV off and do something productive... like laundry, maintaining our finances, or reading a good book (In Her Shoes, thanks Carrie, I am half way through!!!!)

Go figure... less channels to choose from and the option of turning the TV off seems more appealing. Who knew someone could live this way... let alone me!

Please take a moment

Please pray for the families and friends of these men who lost their life serving our country.

Rob, my prayers for you just went up tenfold. Come home safe. -

The Big Snow Storm!

This was actually on Sunday when MD got anywhere from 10 - 21 inches of snow but I was a little slow on the uploading... sue me.

Dropping Scout off at Laura's then dropping Danielle off at the airport...


My boys enjoying the snow...


It was a good day all around ~

Are you kidding me?

I have got to get this off my chest or else I will be brooding all day ~

On my way in this morning some idoit who apparently forgot that other people drive on the exit ramp to 95, decides, mid exit to the south bound lane, to quickly jump over to the north bound lane... directly where I am driving. Not such a big deal because there are 2 lanes but there is a beast of a MACK TRUCK RIGHT NEXT TO ME... please don't think this is an exaggaration... I am looking at his ginormous tires, of which could ahlialate my 98 Jeep in no time flat... I am now forced to choose what death I would like... rolling over the idiot in front of me or becoming a pancake on the ramp. Luckily God was with me and I was able to brake enough to let the moron go in front of me and not get caught up in the wheels of the aforementioned MACK TRUCK. I wanted nothing more than to beat the living snot out of that moron but after one or two explicitves, I let it go. Anyone that knows me well, knows this is a miracle.

Once my heart found the correct rythym again and the adrenyline slowed in my system, things went back to normal. I continued listening to my podcast and enjoyed the drive. For about 10 minutes.

As I am pulling off the exit ramp to get to work I look down at my cup holders and realize that in the aforementioned near death experience, my coffee mug has tipped, every so slightly, in the cup holder and is now spilling wonderful Ethiopian coffee into the cup holders. I esstencially have a coffee lake next to me. Fantastic... I needed every drop of that stupid coffee (btw, thanks Rob, the coffee is DELICIOUS!!!) Not only do I have a lake forming... I realize that my house keys are in the, what was once empty. cup holder... along with a necklace that I wear on a daily basis. I literally went fishing for my keys and necklace... great....

Hey Adam, remember that great little keychain that you got me that is a decision maker (battery operated and flashes lights everywhere)... yeah, I don't think it was meant to swim in coffee...

Have a wonderful day everyone and I hope your day started better than mine ;~)

PS. I am still smiling... I won't let the devil win... besides... it makes a great story for a blog ;~) Love ya'll ;~)

I don't make the rules

For Mother's Day 2004 I made my mom a card. Truth be told, I made the card at 10 or 11 the night before. I forgot about Mother's Day and was scrambling to do something last minute. To this day I don't know if my mom knew that or not... if she did then I feel like a heel and if she didn't then I feel like a fraud... I did the only thing I know how to and got a little creative and very sentimental.

That was the last Mother's Day that I was going to spend living in her home. We had never spent a Mother's Day apart. Not even when she was in California for treatment the year before... I flew out there and dad and I surprised her. It was wonderful. But this year was the last so I wrote a card and here is what it said...

Dear Mom, What can I say on my last Mother's Day in your house. What a wonderful life you have given to me. I don't think I would be half the person I am without you as my guide. It seems like just yesterday I was this young impressionable little girl looking up at you. I followed your every move and mimicked your every step. How wonderfully that has served me. You have given me every advantage in life by just being the person you are. You have taught me what it means to be a strong independent God-fearing woman by just living your life. When things could have been the worst for us God turned it around and made you and I best friends. I wouldn't have wanted to share the past 25 years with anyone else in the world. As exciting as it is to be getting married and starting this phase of my life, it is terrifying to know that you won't be in the room next door. I will miss just being able to curl up on your bed and recount the day, or asking your advice about a certain outfit, or crying with you when I just need to cry or laughing when I just need to laugh. Even though I won't be able to do those anytime I want, I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will always be your little girl. And I know no matter how much distance there is between you and I, we will always be best friends. You can't even begin to imagine how much you mean to me and how lost I would be without you.
I love you. Love, Jessi (aka pumpkin)

That was our last Mother's Day together. I read that card at my mothers wake. I have been told I made it all the way through but I don't remember. About a week ago I was looking up email addresses in my mom's mail program and I went looking through her emails. I looked in the draft folder and this is what I found...

Dear Jessi, Who am I that God looked down on me and decided that I would be given the privilege of raising such a wonderful person and be blessed continually for it? Even though I know in my heart it is time for you to leave this house, I will miss you.

She never sent it or by the looks of it finished it. Maybe she came and talked to me or maybe I walked into the room as she was typing... I have no idea. All I know is I am glad to have found this.

I miss my mom today. I miss her everyday but today I can feel the weight of missing her. The day went by with little fanfare and maybe that is why I miss her more today. She knew me so well and she was able to make each holiday special. It's hard to lose the person that knew you the best.

~ Happy Valentine's Day ~

Just thought I would wish everyone a happy valentine's day ~ I hope it is a good one!

And humbly I say...

I am an idiot. Apparently if you don't switch your preferences from "data disc" to "audio" when burning a CD, your computer won't do it for you. Who knew...

In the end, I made all my CD's with the music I wanted... Danielle you better love this crap ~

I bow humbly before iTunes... they are back in my good graces with my sincerest apologies. I bet they are thrilled.

iTunes Rant

My beloved Apple... I love love love Apple but iTunes has done gone and angered me.

I bought several (read "many") songs from iTunes because I thought... how wonderful... a song for $.99... delivered right to my computer. Which, unknown to me, is where is to remain for ALL of its days... forever, on my computer, alone.

What the heck? No CD to listen to in my car? No CD to listen to at work? No CD to lend to a friend on a 21 hour (one way mind you) trip to see her husband who is faithfully fighting for our freedom??? Not cool ~

They encrypt the files so I can't use the music, that I rightfully bought, in the manner I see fit.

Now I know... blah blah blah copyright crap... yada yada yada and such not. BS all over the place. We all copied the radio onto cassette tapes and the music world cried CHICKEN LITTLE!!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!! Lo and behold, sky is still up and so are their sales.

We all copied tape to tape and traded among friends... ack, gasp and faint... no more money... wrong again... music industry still has money and they are still making it hand over fist...

Gack NAPSTER!!!... lol, well I agree with shutting them down (although I won't say one way or another if I used it)... but when I PURCHASE my music, I expect to be endowed with the right to do what I want with it.

Seriously, is that too much to ask? Apparently so. It's worth my money to go out and buy the CD's which I think is the direction I am headed...

So basically what I just realized... I buy from iTunes... less money, more frustration... I buy the full CD... more money, less frustration... This is a no win situation for young naive Jessica. Ugh, the perils of being an adult...

My near miss heart attack...

Adam and his integrity... I love my husband dearly but his integrity could kill me. If you refer to "God is Working" for the beginning part of the story, this will all make sense.

Adam was feeling very conflicted about cutting out the agency when it came to going back to work for Johns Hopkins. The agency had been very nice to us... getting us $$ because a paycheck was lost in the mail ("nice" as in $$ from someone's personal account) because we weren't going to make rent. Very nice people.

So he spoke with JH and posed the question... should he tell the agency he was going back to work for them? What about contracts signed (between JH and the agency)? Derek thought it a valid point... He will check it out.

They get off the phone and Adam is nervous... did he just wave goodbye to $XX per hour? Scary thoughts (scary thoughts of the wife too). Praying, sweating, happy the conscience is clear, sweating, praying, happy... I would imagine this was Adam until he heard from Derek again...

Turns out there is a clause about paying the agency a percentage of the employee's first year salary instead of being cut in for the hourly rate. Adam suggests that what about JH still pay Adam the $XX per hour and take the time Adam will be there times the percentage and give that to the agency...??? JH likes the idea and says do you think the agency will go for it? Adam quickly interjects... let me talk to them... I have a good relationship with them... I think they will go for it.

Adam quickly calls the agency and talks to his contact... she is more than willing to work out that deal. She is pleased with his honesty and forthcomingness. She knows most people wouldn't put it on the line like that.

She is absolutely correct... my husband is a gem.

Here are a few of the good things about this entire situation

1. Adam holds his head high and doesn't have to slink away from anyone, not the agency or JH
2. Adam is still earning the coveted $XX per hour which will benefit him and his lovely wife.
3. Adam gets to go back to a job he really enjoyed (it is a paralegal position so for everyone that suggests he stay there... not a good long term career move... short term/temping... fine, long term... no)
4. Adam didn't burn any bridges... if he needs to, he can go back to the agency when JH is done and get another assignment... no feeling guilty.
5. Adam learned that he is worth $XX per hour and how valuable and special he is (not just to his wife).
6. Jessica learned that her husband is very unique and special. She should take a lesson at the amount of honesty he displays... even when it doesn't turn out hunky-dory like this... it is still always worth it and it won't EVER kill me.

I love you Adam.

And for all of you that think I am sappy... you're just jealous ;~)

My hidden talent

Your Hidden Talent

Your natural talent is interpersonal relations and dealing with people.You communicate well and are able to bring disparate groups together.Your calming presence helps everything go more smoothly.People crave your praise and complements.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

God is working

Some good news about Adam's job search... actually make that a couple good things...

First, Adam sent a resume via email to a firm in Baltimore yesterday (in answer to a job posting), they responded via email today and an interview was set up for tomorrow at 3:45pm. Very fast paced and extremely exciting! He should also be hearing something from another Baltimore firm he interviewed with last week. He did have an interview in Rockville yesterday but it was only so so... which is fine, it wasn't really an area of law that Adam is interested in.

I digress... first came the spur-of-the-moment interview, then towards the end of the day a lawyer from John's Hopkins University called Adam. Let me stop here to inform those who don't know... Adam worked a temporary gig at the General Counsel's office at JH for about 2 months or so last year. He worked as a paralegal while JH was looking for a permanent person for the position. While he was there he made some good connections with the lawyers in the office, enter Derek, who called Adam today. As it turns out the young woman that JH hired for the paralegal position wasn't working out and was, as of today, no longer working there. Derek wanted to find out if Adam would be interested in coming back to help out while they looked for another permanent person.

Now when Adam had worked there in the past, it was through an Agency and Adam made X amount of dollars. Derek doesn't want to go through the Agency. Derek asks how much he made through said Agency. Adam informs him. Derek promptly offers double the old pay and then for good measure adds $1 on top of the double pay. Unreal! Adam would have went back there for the same pay as before... Talk about gravy!!!!

Adam is at a point at his current temp job where they just finished a big project and leaving now wouldn't pose a big problem... Derek is offering Adam generous pay... Derek wants and values Adam so much he is willing to go the extra mile to have him there. What a stellar day. Thank you Lord for meeting us here!

Just a couple days ago we were at a point where pulling rent money together by tomorrow was looking difficult... lo and behold I forgot to enter a paycheck into our Quicken account... rent is covered, thank you Lord! (Seth/Victoria... sound familiar ;~) Just a couple days ago we were worried about not having a safety net to fall back on in times of need... lo and behold the Lord brings along this awesome opportunity. Not only does the Lord provide us with some financial security but He gives Adam a much deserved boost to the self esteem.

Now, all I have to remember is always rely on God and He will meet us. Thanks everyone for your prayers.

Hey Rob... this one is for you...

Danielle cooking! What a domestic diva (and I emphasize diva ;~) you have on your hands ~ Truth be told... it was a great meal.... after Adam and I informed Danielle that you have to add water to the pot of frozen corn... Gotta love the girl ;~)

Danielle is my hero!!!

I just received my Gevalia coffee maker!!! Danielle, you are a wise wise woman.... THANKS!!!

ABC's of Me

The ABCs of me:

A - Age you got your first kiss: 14 I think - Matthew Pickup.
B - Band listening to right now: "Great Songs" playlist on my ipod.
C - Crush on: Ty Pennington, my husband knows.
D - Dad's name: Paul
E - Easiest person to talk to: Was my mom, most of the time it is my husband.
F - Favorite bands at the moment: Anyone from the OC, Scrubs, Garden State soundtrack
G - Gummy worms or gummy bears?: Neither, I have grown past that stage.
H - Hometown: Austin, TX
I - Instruments: None, wish there was one though.
J - Junior High: They call it Middle School in MD and it was George Fox.
K - Kind of car: Honda Accord and Jeep Grand Cherokee
L - Longest car ride ever: MD to Panama City, FL. Breaking down made it much longer then it was supposed to be.
M - Mom's name: Susan
N - Nicknames: PJ
O - One wish: To have my mom back healthy.
P - Phobias: Dying (Death is ok, it's the dying that scares me)
Q - Quote:
"To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded."
R - Reason to smile: God's forgiveness and love
S - Song you sang last: Forever Young by Youth Group
T - Time you woke up today?: 6:10 am.
U - Unknown fact about me: I am pessimistic by default... I am trying to change that.
V - Vegetable you hate: Brussel Sprouts, Artichoke, Asparagus... ick.
W - Worst habit(s): Not admitting I am wrong.
X - X-rays you've had: left arm twice, right leg, can't remember any others.
Y - Yummy food: eggplant pancakes, Italian wedding soup, steak and mashed potatoes meal.
Z - Zodiac sign: Virgo although I lend very little credence to astrology, very little.

Thought I might give this a shot

So I have changed my way of thinking. Worry and anger are so exhausting that I have decided to stop. Adam doesn't have a FT permanent job yet, I am stuck at a job that I don't like as much as I once did but I am too scared to leave, law school loans think that we should have the money to pay them back now and we are renting an apartment in Ellicott City that I want out of... oh and I want a baby. From now on that sentence reads as follows.... Adam has a couple interviews lined up and irons in the fire, I am lucky to have a job with such great bosses and I am generously paid for my time, so far we haven't missed a payment on the student loans, we have a roof over our heads and... well I still want a baby but I can wait.

I have also decided that life is too short for watching life pass you by. I want to start doing things... get out and experience life... heck, I need stories to tell my kids!

My first goal is to get to DC within the month of Feb. I want to visit something/anything. Museum... the Vietnam Wall... Lincoln Monument... Anything.... I am going to try to persuade bible study to join me (read us... husband gets very little say in this matter). I bet I can count on Danielle... that is if I can get her to pencil me into that busy schedule!

I will keep anyone that may read this updated ~