Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Ugh

Blah Blah Blah

I really want to write something but I am having a hard time getting it all out in any kind of coherent fashion.

I am at this 'who am I' crisis. Well let me clarify... I feel like I should be at this crisis but I don't really feel like I am there. I feel like people think I should be one thing but really I am this other thing... and the other thing is totally fine with me... so I am not sure why they feel that way. Unless they know something I don't.

See. Totally incoherent.

I am also in the middle of medical insurance hell. Hate hate hate anything related to medical insurance... except, you know, the coverage. But the rules and the tiny print... the if this, than that... the 4 calls with 3 separate differing answers. The sheer amount of money it takes to have coverage. Pay an exorbitant amount just in case you get sick and need it. Pay a smaller amount and if you get sick and need it, pay through the nose. Thinking about another kid... just set up your tent because you'll never have the money to own your own house. And yes of course we are thinking about more kids... but the next one will probably be named Could Have Been A House G.

Baby #2 - I didn't mean that. I of course love you very much and would have done anything to have you.

No I am not pregnant... just covering my bases for when little CHBAHG reads this.

Which can I just say that Thank God almighty we didn't get pregnant by accident. If we had we would have paid the entire prenatal and delivery out of pocket. No if ands or buts about it.

See. See how insane I am? I am seriously crawling out of my skin with frustration and sadness. Luckily my bestie (you know, the one with the 22 month old AND 3 week old newborn) has listened to me vent, cry and make sarcastic comments no fewer than 8 different times this week. I love her. She should really move to Hagerstown... I'm just putting that out there.

I digress.

So I spit this into the universe because typically I feel better when I put my feelings to paper plastic keys. Although I am betting this won't be last you hear about these topics... I smell a follow up... more ranting and venting. Consider it my gift to you.

4 comments:

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Insurance is a nightmare. While I am very glad we have it, I usually spend an inordinate amount of time on the phone after getting outrageous bills on top of the premium we pay each month. Ugh!

lmcarmitage said...

Boy can I relate. It is SO frusterating that insurance rules life. It is the reason I have to work part time instead of being a SAHM, the reason I am not pregnant, and one of the reasons I feel like we will never be able to own a home.

chocolate hug said...

Wow you guys have really sucky insurance.... There may be more options for you guys than you can see from a short distance. I don't know how things are in the state where you're living but we've been able to find a lot of programs to help our family....and yes even buying a home...which seems insane and completely idiotic with my hubby going down to part time to go to grad school...we should talk though. There are options and organizations that want to see families succeed! We live on a shoe string budget too...maybe we should talk!

In-Sung said...

I still see myself going through my own mid-life crisis I think. I laugh about this from time to time but am never free from those thoughts: should I work, or should I stay at home, who am I? who else should I be as others want me to be? Oh I want another child all the time but how? Yuck...