Friday, July 28, 2006

It just keeps coming...

So the Townley's ask to have some boxes that we have stored in our outside storage area... simple enough, right?

Wrong... open the storage and holy mildew it smells... and the boxes are damp... definitely not going to be of any use to the Townley's. Adam and I decide, sooner than later we have to get in there and get everything out. Our thought being, we could pull it out and store it somewhere else so it doesn't get destroyed... ahhh, young naive thought.

Thursday - Adam graciously agrees to clean it out while I am at class... thinking "half hour tops and then I am on the couch surfing the net" - again, young naive thought. Them moment he starts bringing stuff out it is very clear that there is substantial damage to whatever is in there.

About 2 hours later Adam emerges drenched with sweat, inhaling and smelling like toxic mold and covered in cobwebs... everything is out... lets asses the damage....

1. First and foremost - the boxes that are specifically designed to hold my mothers (now mine) Lladro... ruined. They either had ripe, teeming mold growing on it or it has the damp flimsy feel of sogginess. Every last one had the putrid smell of mold/mildew. Useless. My mother has had them for thirty years, moved from country to country, state to state, used and reused them... I get them and less than 2 years later, they are landfill bound.

2. Any and all extra packing boxes - Death.

3. Adams baseball bag/bats/gloves - bag = death; bats = outside, will try to save; gloves = inside, will try to save.

4. Microwave - God awful horrendous death. Up chuck reflexes in full swing when this is viewed.

5. 4 or 5 boxes/4 or 5 shopping bags of clothing and miscellaneous stuff; all was destined for Goodwill or the Salvation Army - Death... if it isn't covered in mold then it reeks of it. You can't wash that smell out... nevermind the likelihood that wearing that stuff probably isn't good for the wearer.

6. Cardboard box of Christmas ornaments/wrapping/trinkets - anything that is paper/cloth/cardboard = death. The ornaments are spared, thank goodness because they are VERY special. The paper towels they were wrapped in... death.

7. Plastic tub of various Christmas things - I opened it and gave it a whiff... sweet smell of plastic! It's been saved!

8. 2 Good pieces of luggage - Thank goodness someone had the forethought to wrap them in a trash bag - salvageable! The handles have a slight bit of mold (they were sticking out of the bag) but the rest is in good condition!!!

9. Set of good china left to me by my mother - china was ok but the box that it was in... not so much. Had to take out all the china, run it under steaming hot water for now and set aside for a more thorough bath later... then discard the moldewy boxes.

So when I get home from class all the Lladro boxes are spread out on the kitchen floor... my dear sweet husband knows what they mean to me and is desperately trying to save them... no such luck. They are gone. I suck it up, put aside any anxiety I feel for throwing them away and we bag them up. We go to open the door and find that it won't open.

Let me repeat that... the door, to our house, from the inside - WILL NOT OPEN. It turns but the latch... not budging. Hit it, jiggle it, credit card it... nothing. It isn't opening.

I actually have the thought that this is someone's elaborate way to kill us with mold.

Adam resorts to taking apart the doorknob. First in a valiant attempt to fix it but as it becomes apparent that it refuses to be fixed, it becomes a grudge match between Adam and the door. The thought of being in a fire and not being able to get this door open was weighing heavily on my mind so with all his might, he pulls the latch out of the door and it pops open.

Now we have a gaping hole where our knob used to be (of which we put the knob back up without the locking mechanism so at least we weren't advertising that we had lock issues) ... and a deadbolt that uses a key on both the outside and the inside... Apparently this is because we have a window pane next to the deadbolt and any old burglar can smash and turn... whatever, all I can think is fire hazard!

Whatever, the outside is now accessible... we throw the trash out on the porch area... and boy to we look like some hillbilly, straw munching, cousin dating white trash. Our porch is covered... overflowing with trash.

Then we go through the fine china... rinse off the dishes and throw out the boxes (to our ever growing white trash pile)

Finally, at 11 we finish. No time for relaxing... straight to sleep.

Now, this would be the part of the story where an ending would be... oh no, not for this story! It continues... is anyone still reading this?

So we wake up this morning... get ready and we are walking out the door... and it starts to rain. I look at the pile of trash that is sitting there... cluttering up the porch which needs to be somewhat clear in the rain so there is somewhere for the water to collect. There is a drain but it gets overly worked and inevitably clogged so the water doesn't drain fast or sometimes at all. So, I realize that we have way too much stuff blocking the area... not to mention, if any of it gets caught in the downpour, it will be unwieldy to deal with later.

So, I call into work and tell them I will be an hour or so late... head to the grocery store to get trash bags, come home and get to work... I bag every last piece of box, trash and clothing.

I arrange everything so there is as little as possible on the ground and so it sits around the edges, leaving plenty of room for the G Lagoon to create.

I move the last bag into position and I hear a pop... then I see white liquid running out from underneath it...

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

So I get to work fixing this situation... pour water on it to make sure it doesn't stain our porch... comes up ok, I think we will be fine... put the trash bag in another bag..... still leaking.... put entire trash bag in recycling bin.... realize that the bin probably has holes for water to drain... push it over... it does, 4 to be exact.... realize I have to do the unthinkable (to me at least) and I open both trash bags exposing some sort of grossness I don't want to be privy to again.

I starting pulling out smaller trash bags and start a new 'non leaking' trash bag. It doesn't take me long to find the culprit... Floor Primer. Some of you are asking... what the heck are the G's doing with Floor Primer.... cut story for explanation.

Adam and I helped Danielle move out Wednesday night and we put a hefty bit of garbage out for pick up... some of which the garbage men didn't pick up... instead (and I don't know how) what was left was put into their recycling bin and pulled up to the steps of their house... I have no idea who or why. I see it, know that the tenants are moving in on Sunday and shouldn't have this to deal with (and the Townley's won't be back until Sunday night) so I pull it to the house and rebag it.... enter setting it down wrong and thus a steady stream of Floor Primer heading for the drain. Which I know, probably not a good thing.

So, back to the story. I now have the leaky bottle in my hands (leaky from the bottom of course) so I put it in a bag while I try to figure out what to do. I have white floor primer all over the porch now and I really don't want to know what all day in the sun will do to it, so I fill up a pot with water and wash it down the drain (this takes a few trips back and forth to the kitchen sink)... I set the floor primer (and the bag holding it) in a tupperware container (that will obviously not be used ever ever ever again ;~) Now, the trash is in its correct spot and the porch doesn't have primer on it anymore.... now I can dedicate time to the leakiness of the situation... I quickly figure out that if I tip it upside down and set it in the bowl and prop it up against something, it won't leak. Genuis, pure genius.

I shower (again) and head off to work. Never, in my life, have I been so glad to be at work.

Much love to you all and may your day but MUCH better ~

3 comments:

TortfeasorG said...

Talk about a bad freaking night and morning!

Oh My Gosh, Honey! You are HILARIOUS!!! Not to mention all of the spiders! EWW! Well, it goes to show... no good deed goes unpunished.

Hey, at least we get to go have fun tonight... that is, assuming that you can wash that sweet primer smell off before then!

kathi said...

Darlin, this sounds pretty much like the pattern of every project I take on. Two peas in a pod...poor thing.

paco said...

WOW! That is about all I have to say about that... You are a brave woman. Adam, way to tough it out with the storage area. All of this happened Thurs night? Yikes... No weekend help either.