Thursday, October 22, 2009

The reason I was late...

I am warning you now... although you have probably already seen it... but the first picture will give you the willies for hours... if not days.

So I am leaving our house to head to the in-laws house for Chase's birthday party... which means I have presents, balloons, food to make the pizzas, a diaper bag and a toddler... and I am meeting Adam there. So my hands were a little full.

I get us into the garage, get our shoes on and open the garage door, only to be met by this guy...

So the ick factor strikes you first... he just looks like a creepy spider. What you don't get as the viewer is the size. He was easily the size of a tennis ball.

My first thought was I am moving back to Crofton... I never ONCE saw a spider like this in Crofton. In my mind the house was packed and we were moving far away from these ridiculously large freaky country spiders.

My next thought was 'How the heck am I going to get out of here??' He had me trapped.

I threw a shoe in his general direction but he didn't even flinch. I banged the shoe a couple times in his general direction and nothing. I pushed him with the shoe a little bit and he just stood there. Oh he moved enough to let me know he was alive but he just stood there mocking me.

Then I started thinking that I didn't want him running off... because then I would know he was still out there... just waiting for me.

He needed to die.

The shoe wasn't an option... that put me WAY too close to him and the killing. This needed to be done from afar.

Enter Adam's golf club.

Ok... I can't just wail on this thing with a golf club... I can't see that.

So for his sake (so he didn't see it coming) and mine, I threw an envelope on him. Then I just beat the crap out of the envelope.

The weapon.

I am women, hear me roar.

And this is how I left the house... there was no way I was touching that envelope! Adam did the dirty work for me when we got home. Maybe it's not so much a roar as it is a dainty meow.

Whatever, I killed the sucker.


KaraB said...

i'm laughing so hard i'm crying..sorry!! lololol

SissyKristin said...

omg i feel your pain!! ick ick ick. reminds me of that giant bug in my old apartment. notice we moved about two months later?? ugh.

dkamfam said...

Ugh! That thing was huge! But good on you for mustering up the bravery - I wouldn't want to let that thing get away either. Hilarious! Glad he didn't ruin your evening. :)

Anonymous said...

You ROAR, baby! Hahahahaha!

Vicki said...

Ooops, that was me, not "Anonymous"!

chocolate hug said...

We had a spitting cobra in our front yard one afternoon when I was about 9. My mom put on a pair of tall boots and had me run to the back to get the ax. She hacked that thing into about a hundred pieces, it never knew what hit it. To this day she's still one of my favorite super heros!

Your story totally reminded me of that memory!

Thanks for sharing.


Rose said...

LOL!!! Don't move to Florida - they're huge down there.

Anonymous said...

So funny. But you took the picture of this creepy creature! It is just sooo YOU! LOL