Behind the picture

I guess an explanation might be nice.

This is a photograph of a video image of my biological father pushing me on a swing. We were in Spain, on our patio and he was playing with his new toy, the video camera. Please believe me when I tell you the video camera was more interesting to him than I was.

At first glance, I saw the photograph of a father as he should be... attentive, caring, fun. However, when I include reality, I see the father he really is... colorless, self serving, and not distinguishable in my life.

As if the picture wasn't enough irony...

What confounds me most of all is how, after 19 years of him ignoring my very existence, all I ever wish for is him to say he is sorry and that he wants to know me.

Well that concludes story time with Jessica, next time I will just pass out Valium to everyone.

For a peak into my day to day life... our Wonderbeagle... you know the one I bragged about a few posts back... yeah, he threw up on the bedspread which happens to be a down comforter, an expensive and very loved down comforter. So great, he's sick.... who can be angry at a sick dog. Certainly not me... until I walk away for 2 minutes to put away laundry and come back to the living room to find Mr. Wonderbeagle himself perched on the coffee table eating a generous portion of what used to be my dinner. Oh God, have mercy on the dog's soul.

To make a long story slightly shorter... Wonderbeagle was confined to a mommy-made prison until daddy got home to release him. I kid you not when I say the prison was for his safety as much as it was for my sanity.

Yeah, I'm ready to have kids.