It's hard to believe it's been 4 years since my mom passed away. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday and other times I feel like it's always been this way... on rare occasions I forget she is gone. I miss her tremendously and I still (and will always) have days or times when I cry thinking about her missing out on stuff. I will always feel a hole in my life that she once occupied. I will always smile and cringe simultaneously when I see mothers and daughters shopping together. I had a wonderful life with her and I will treasure every moment and memory. It's only because it was so wonderful that it hurts this bad. With great love comes great loss.
Adam and I chatted about how you are supposed to feel on these days... I always want to feel angry, mad at the world, pissy and just a general 'leave me alone' attitude. I want to but I rarely do. I get caught up in the day and what needs to be done. I (now) look at my son and think 'what needs do I need to fulfill for him?'. I go about my day content and generally pleased with my life. This really crappy thing happened 4 years ago on this day but truly my life is good. I have a great husband, a wonderful son, family beyond measure and friends any which way I look.
Here are just a few pictures:
Mom's High School graduation 1969!
No particular holiday... just a family shot... around the 95 - 96 era. BTW, I still miss those sandals... totally wore them into the ground!
So like I said, I get caught up in the day. Today is about packing for one of the best weddings I will ever attend, grocery shopping and making food so daddy has an easier time with Chase this weekend and taking Chase to the doctor. Oh yeah, forgot to mention... little man has been running a fever since Monday. That coupled with some other issues... mama suspects infection. We shall see. If you think about it, please say a quick prayer around 2ish! Thanks!