I can't seem to shake this blah feeling. I have been having this re-occuring thought process and it's troubling me. I know my mom wanted me to be happy and satisfied in my career. I know, every parent wishes that for their kids but she gave me advice and nudged me as I was deciding. She always stressed that it was important and I should work hard to do something that I love. That urging was born out of a lifetime of working just to provide for me... I know she never really liked any of her jobs. She did them to put food on the table and I think she wanted more for me.
So where am I now? In a job that I fell bass ackwards into, doing something that is completely contradictory to my degree and lifestyle, wishing that I was somewhere else.
Please don't anyone write in and say 'most people feel that way' and/or 'hardly anyone uses their degree for the intended purpose' - You run the risk of your comment being deleted.
I digress... the thought process is this... I think of all the times my mom helped and encouraged me to find a career... then I think about all the opportunity that I had to make something out of my life... then I think about the wasted opportunity that I didn't grab onto... then I look around and see where I am professionally and I can't help but think that she would be so dissapointed in me. (Not me as a person, just me as a professional... I am smarter than that!)
It hurts to think that I have let my mom down.
Please know that I am not looking to be fixed... only to throw what is on my mind out into the universe. Sometimes just saying it outloud makes me feel better.
Oh and earlier this morning, I tried to eat my body weight in fruit roll-ups. Not a feat I would recommend.
For your weekly smile... my dog sleepy on daddy's lap laying across daddy's laptop computer. I love this house.